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My mom was on drugs,
I tell you no lie,
if you think it was fun,
then you must be high,
the drug was called crank,
she was up all night,
she lost a lot of weight,
boy was she a sight,
she lost four hours in the bathroom,
while I banged on the door,
to her it was only minutes,
to me it was the end of the world,
three kids without a mother,
so if you think drugs are cool,
you better go back to school.

I just felt that this one needed to
be posted again please review. Your imput
is much needed


------
Jeffrey Lawson


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Comments

The following comments are for "What Drugs Do"
by deadlygiant

I Know...
I am so sorry.

but at least you are writing out your feelings, and that's a healing start.

pray for your mother I will too.
there is so much for you to do get with a support group, and continue to write.

I can relate on both sides of the scope and you're right it's no joke, it is real and real scary, real sad as well as a lonely state of being.
a person has to want to change, so unitl she hits her bottom, PRAY.

( Posted by: LMJ [Member] On: January 10, 2006 )

Review,
While this is a very personal poem, I would have difficulties trying to review it without bringing my personal thoughts here as well.
If this is a biographical poem, I feel for you and your family.

As your reader, I would love to read this, rewritten with MORE emotion. Let me know exactly how you feel. Let out that angst, the resentment the hurt, the loss.

Make it deep. This alone as is is written nicely. But with the darkness behind the story, there is alot more you can show and describe for us.

It is good to write things out, it's a way of self-therapy. I am glad I came here to read this.
I will read more of you later on.

"How can I erase this pain
seeing her stoned again?
Crank was her drug of choice
and I alone, lost my voice."

Then go into HOW you felt, WHAT you saw, smelled, using your senses. There is a very very good poem here waiting inside you. I am looking forward to reading more of your work.

If this is indeed a poem from person experience, you have LOTS to write about. Dig deep and let it all out. Never hold back.

Thanks for posting this. It got me thinking and inspiration is thought.

my best to you,
Darlene


( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: January 10, 2006 )

agreed
I agree with Dareva. I would also say don't worry too much about rhyming, concentrate on, as Dar has said, using your senses. You're a walking recorder don't forget and unlike a video camera you have the ability to include the sensations of touch, smell, taste and emotions. I understand you wanting to write it out, it's the best idea, I hope to see more of your work here.

Take care
Paul the Ogg

( Posted by: ogg [Member] On: January 13, 2006 )





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