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just cause his name is mountain don't mean he's a queer
despite his gruff attempts to numb it up with beer
his lips kept spitting kisses like sunny secrets from the gods
he would rule it all with iron and his red hot rod



------
"All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling" -Oscar Wilde


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The following comments are for "Latent Cowboy"
by MountainBill

Editing Help?
How do you get to edit your writing once it's been published? I made an error and want to edit and have it read as follows:


Latent Cowboy

just cause his name is mountain don't mean he's a queer
despite his gruff attempts to numb it up with beer
his lips kept spitting kisses like sunny secrets from the gods
he would rule it all with iron and his surly red hot rod


( Posted by: MountainBill [Member] On: January 5, 2006 )

Editing Work
M. Bill ~ You can edit your published work from Manage Writing by clicking the unpublish button to the right of the title of the piece you want to edit. Once it's unpublished it will jump back a category where you can then click on the title and make any changes you like. Your work should be republished (with original comments and ratings intact) within 24-48 hours, although in my own experience, republishing has actually been a bit quicker than that.

Your poem made me giggle. I've lived in the south for over a decade and currently work in manufacturing and I have to admit I've known more than a few characters who'd wear your Latent Cowboy well. "Surly red hot rod" indeedy.

I've got one small technical quibble for you -- why'd you switch tenses between your first two lines and your last two?

That Wilde quote is beyond apt.

( Posted by: hazelfaern [Member] On: January 6, 2006 )

Brokeback Mountain
Windchime & Hazelfaern,
Yes, this was inspired by the movie, Brokeback Mountain.

In the first two lines I am the viewer questioning inner dialogue about my own heterosexual insecurities, and in the next two lines I am referring to the actors, and playing with double meaning and sexual innuendoes. Thus, the change in tenses.

Thanks to you both for your comments and help.

( Posted by: MountainBill [Member] On: January 6, 2006 )

Nifty
Nice work! Irreverently touching, in its own weird way. And I do mean touching . . .

Check out my "Not That There's Anything Wrong With That" an' see if ya like it!

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: January 6, 2006 )

Mounting William
Interesting choice of name for your pen/personification.

Have ya seen Bubba Jackson while hunting for grub?

Haven't seen movie, but heard talking heads discuss/review.

Bobby7L

*Never overestimate American buying public.

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: January 6, 2006 )

Viper9 & Bobby7L
Thanks for the encouraging words Viper9. I will check out your poem recommendation.

Bobby7L Is "Have you seen Bubba Jackson while hunting for grub" one of your poems? I'll check it out. Thanks for reading mine. Mounting William? I never thought of that, good play on words, might of worked well with this poem.

Doc

( Posted by: MountainBill [Member] On: January 6, 2006 )

MB/Doc ....
To answer your question: No, it's not. If you wish to view a few of my posts here, try poems: "UFO," "Journey," "one...too," "Parallel Posting/Multiple Mind."

Lyrics: "Starring Us" and "What Angels Do."

Welcome to Lit.

B7L

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: January 6, 2006 )

brown dirt cowboys


Fantastic, captain!

s

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: January 10, 2006 )

MountainBill
Oh I like this, agreeing with all comments. I've read several of your poems and will take some time in the next week to comment.

I like this way of writing. Gutshit. (To me means REAL. Good.) Welcome to our Lit world!!!

Dar;)

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: January 10, 2006 )

broke back mountin'
This works wonderfully as lyrics to Kid Rock's "I'm a Cowboy", but I'm sure you knew that. xtra credit funny

or maybe I'm thinking of a Beck song

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: January 11, 2006 )

Latent Cowboys
Mr. Mountin', er I mean Moutain-
just a gigiloe indeed- Mountains are for awe and scaling- you seem to be ready for each...
welcome and bring us the fun you seem to preview in these words of yours!

"his lips kept spitting kisses like sunny secrets from the gods"- that's really, really nice-

No broke back, yet, and I'm ready to read more!
Best to you-
Elizabeth

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: January 12, 2006 )

Brokeback MountainBill....hmmm?
Boy, everybody really loved this one, I bet Legs was really proud of you, I know I was.

( Posted by: TheRealKarmaTseringLhamo [Member] On: August 28, 2008 )





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