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Last Christmas I succeeded in finally wearing around my neck that orange scarf that I always wanted to find and be in possession of. There used to be a little problem there: first, Philippines is a tropical country it wouldn’t snow in a hundred years; second, I see young Filipino men wearing such only in television, those who imitate good-looking Korean and Chinese actors. Though I have to make clear my urge in getting one wasn’t vanity related, I know it was to fulfill something in myself: that in many ways when I go through my everyday business I wasn’t given the privilege to be myself. I wear shirt and tie, blue and grey.
Then that day when I packed my things to celebrate the holiday over at my parents’ house in the mountains, Dolores, Quezon Province, I remember the scarf that my friend Louella bought for me when she had a vacation in the City of Pines, Baguio. I smiled. I could thank Louella a hundred times; she really worked hard searching the North for it. I was guilty I lied to her about having dreamt of that scarf so she would double her effort. I don’t remember her asking why I needed it or where and how I could require it for crying out loud I haven’t gone out of the country, ever! But if she should ask, I would have carried on with my superstitious reason, why didn’t I think it would be for one Christmas Eve in Mount Banahaw?
So I wore it, even put on the funny ‘very me’ hood attached to it, you see it’s kind of versatile that the next morning I hid the little gadget by folding it inwards inside the loop around my neck. Then I went videOKing scaring the kids who are amazingly growing in number each Christmas Christmasing at my parents’ house. My own kids could understand me, I know, and Daisy would as well but maybe a little bit, me trying hard to be the season’s singing superstar. I wanted to wear the scarf, if only up to the instant we’d be boarding the bus back to Metro Manila, but I could feel pairs of eyes on me. My father’s, my mother’s, and heck my tease brothers who get bigger than me each time I see them. Maybe Daisy could understand and not ask. Maybe Danyan, Tim and Yela would more bother about bringing home their grandparents’ and uncles’ gifts to them.
I removed the scarf and left it for Hamil to keep inside the closet until next December. There was not much promise its color would be as bright after a year, as much as there was no promise that when I go back to the hectic, corporate world, I’ll be able to still keep in touch with the artist in me each minute that I wanted to.
New Signature Quote:
“Whenever you’re down always remember:
You’re braver than you believe,
Stronger than you seem, and
Smarter than you think.”
~ from Winnie the Pooh
Shelfing Old Bio:
I work as a Marketing Manager for hotel privilege programmes, and having always been based in deluxe and first class hotels here in the Philippines, I developed a passion for beautiful things. I love seeing chandeliers, stylish hats, mother and child. Stained-glass windows, orange socks, french-kissing. Church architecture, love letters, parades.
I love watching people walk by. I love seeing their faces, young and old.
I have just turned thirty, and I don't know if this evening I'll die, and so I am going to write my poetry now. That somehow even if I cease to breathe tonight a spirit could lead you tomorrow to this page, and have you say, ah... he's alive, he's immortal!
Shelfing Old Signature Quote:
Reality and love are always contradictory for me! ~Before Sunset
crystal face I kiss
tongue tastes like sweet cold rain
I fall into pond