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Beware of invisible cars that roam the streets,
they hit from behind;
youíll be crushed in no time.
Beware of daylight,
itís the twin sister of sinister dark-night;
donít let your eyes be fooled
by its cloak of brightness, ghostlessness.

Strive to see both worlds:
the inconspicuous,
and the obvious;
they hide side-by-side
behind a lanky tree
and it doesnít matter at all
which of them is not stout,
which of them is not skinny.

Take care as you cross big busy roads,
focus on that isle some meters elevated,
you might have to struggle climbing up to it,
but itís the only place
where the thick wheels
of those wraithly rushing cars
are impossible to shatter
your glass-fragile earthbound soul.

Schooled you may be
in universities of explicable universes,
but I see youíre as blind
as he who died instantly
on that street where he was believed to be
ran over by you know what,
I am not going to say it again.

crystal face I kiss
tongue tastes like sweet cold rain
I fall into pond

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The following comments are for "Beware"
by peterpaulino

Caution and fast cars
There are some glorious moments in this, such as daylight wearing Ďa cloak of ghostlessnessí, not the other way around. I like, too, the way that the poem itself climbs up to that isle, effortfully, holding out the hope of safety; then retreats again, cautioning us in the final stanza with its oblique threat that cleverness is no proof against the cruel fast-car world (so true!).
Your poetic voice here is always unusualÖ it has an immediacy I donít find anywhere else. I enjoyed this one very much.

( Posted by: MobiusSoul [Member] On: December 17, 2005 )

Well, well,well...
finally. "Beware of day-light its the twin sister of sinister dark-night". these few words are hot and slammin! you recked the paper( a good thing). I totally feel, your work.

I also agree with Lucie, nothing is as it appears.

hot off the press dude. HOT.

( Posted by: LMJ [Member] On: December 17, 2005 )

Peter's Poetic Wisdom
Peter- In our limited mode of awareness, we take that which appears to be, as reality. Of course, we can not fully know/see 'that which is.'..Buddhist in theory, this 'virtual reality,'is merely 'illusion.'...between those of past illusions and those of future, unfolding in illusion of time...

Highly entertaining read.

Good to hear VOICE.

Robert William, aka:Bobby7L

*All snoring are not asleep. (Sicilian)

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: December 17, 2005 )

Hey Peter!
I think your writing is getting really extra good, by the looks of things! I like the kind of 'custom syntax' you have. I think your vision for your work is presented really well this way.

In this particular poem, I think you shine. I do see one place I'd revisit if I were you: " maybe are" is a little clunky. I'd switch 'maybe' for 'truly', or take out 'are' for 'may be'.

Good read, Peter!


( Posted by: GibsonGirl [Member] On: December 21, 2005 )

Beware Lucie & Caitlin
Lucie, you mentioned my favorite and I didn't realize this one's mirroring that very quote from Little Prince everyone from my college would memorize. There's that other one I always loved: 'You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.' Guess there should be a separate poem for that!

Caitlin, I am pleased that part caught your eye, there was no other way for me to say in poetry such feeling I have fearing daytime as much as anyone could the 'ghostfulness' of night.

To the two of you, thank you very much!

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: December 21, 2005 )

LMJ, Bobby & GG
LMJ, Thank you for reading this. I will look forward to seeing more from you.

Bobby, I often think of that too. Such thoughts make me dizzy. But more often it humbles me, that I can't ever be extra-human to see things as what else they could be. I know the possibility that I don't dismiss, but I know I just can't walk on that ground yet.

Lans, geez. I very much agree with you and in a few minutes this will be unposted and be edited, I'm glad I know how to do that. I am going for: 'Schooled you may be'. Again, you wouldn't know how much I feel thankful for your thoughtfulness. My poem would have been less without that particular correction you brought up. Thank you very much.

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: December 21, 2005 )

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