Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
5

(2 votes)


RatingRated by
6Unknown
4PhilosophiX

You must login to vote

Awaiting Death: Tarmac Fodder
Richard Dani

Reggie lies beneath the eighteen-wheeler waiting for its driver to return.

The blacktop is warmer than the night air and as a result, his back is sweating. Reggie views it as a minor discomfort; one to be ignored along with the pebble that’s digging into his skull and the pungent odor of diesel fuel that’s burning his nostrils.

The external sounds of gears grinding, fluid dripping and distant conversations are drowned out by the internal sounds of the memory he is replaying. He remembers entering his house and hearing the bedsprings squeaking. This noise had rhythm to it and something inside him cracked causing a great coldness to spread out from his chest to his extremities. Still, he followed the sound when every part of him knew that the best option was to turn and leave.

Reggie staggered up the steps taking no care to be quiet and continued down the hallway where the bed’s squeaking was joined by heavy breathing and animalistic grunting. The moment he stared through the doorway he knew his life was over—Not because of the man that straddled his wife, but because of the look on his beloved’s face. She had been staring at the doorway, waiting for him to arrive, and by her hateful glare, she had wanted to do more than just destroy the relationship—She had wanted to burn him down with it.

This realization causes great pains to stab through his chest and stomach with such intensity he nearly vomits.

Above him Reggie hears the engine thunder to life and he watches the deep, black tire treads approach and ride up onto his face. There is no pain—Only a momentary sensation of weight. Then he hears the crunching sound of his skull cracking and the wet sound of his brains being squished.




------
If you have no questions or fears about your abilities, then you will learn nothing from your mistakes and know nothing about your limitations.



Comments

The following comments are for "Awaiting Death: Tarmac Fodder"
by Richard Dani

interesting
a interesting story a little sad and gory at the end but over all a good peace of righting

( Posted by: falcon [Member] On: August 26, 2002 )

Thanks Falcon
Thanks Falcon, for taking the time to comment. I guess it is sad, and a little gory. My wife feels the last few words are a little juvenile--and now that I've had a few days away from it, I happen to agree.

Thanks once more for reading and reviewing. Your words are appreciated.

Richard

( Posted by: Richard Dani [Member] On: August 26, 2002 )

Jess, UR2 kind
Thanks very much Jess for all the comments and I'm glad you liked the story. I don't know if I had my way with it, but I sure sweet talked it a lot.

Thanks again,

Richard

( Posted by: Richard Dani [Member] On: August 28, 2002 )

like a ripe melon
Rick~
I'd have to agree with your wife about the last few words... but I liked this one... I had a completely different idea of where this one was going and the ending caught me by suprise... I suppose I never considered suicide because it goes against my grain. Good job of fooling me, and a good snapshot story if I do say so myself...

( Posted by: Bartleby [Member] On: August 29, 2002 )

Gross out!
Sweet!

I would have to agree about the last sentence, but think that if you took it out all together, that it would lessen the 'oh-so-exquisite' gore factor, which you always manage to do so well.

--Jasmine

( Posted by: Jasmine [Member] On: August 29, 2002 )

Well
Well, I dont quite know why I enjoyed this story so, but I did nonetheless. Hey, if you ever need someone to talk to....jk. Actually, though I might have disgussed this with you already, I've incorporated an art and literary magazine based in NJ and I'd love to get some of your work and the work of others on this sight in for the next issue. Please, if you have any interest at all, send me an email: backseatmag@aol.com. Thanks and keep writing.

( Posted by: praxidikai [Member] On: November 30, 2002 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: