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I’m laughing, jumping around
Having fun
Happy
Though deep within me
I’m lonely, having pain
And sadness
All that laughing, jumping around
And happiness
Is nothing more but an cruel mask
And mask that sometimes fails
What if it will fail
For ever
That darkness will conquer me
And I have lost the battle
Of my life
And all those loneliness, rages
And sadness
Will rule the rest of my life
I do not wish that to happen
For it will effects others
I know
And if that might ever happen
And I feel that time comes near
I would be very gladly if I could
Stop it
I would fill the bath whit water
Cut the electricity cables
Throw it in the water
While I’ am standing in it
And feel how my blood would boil
In my veins
And how my veins would burn away
And I have become an shadow of the past
One that shall be soon
Forgotten by all those who ones
Knew me
Though what even in death
I will change in what I’ am afraid
To become
Then my soul was carrying it all
Not my mind
And that even now
As an forgotten shadow
Up on this mortal earth
I’ am loneliness, rage
And sadness
I might stay like an forgotten shadow
And see all the ages man has still to go
Until I have found my self
And if I do find my self
Who will take
To there realm
God, Satan, Mother Earth
Or may I choose
I think my choice does not matter
Because they are the higher powers
And only they can say
And make an choice
Not an forgotten shadow like myself
This all come forth out myself
Because in life I was
An Emotional Wreck
------ S.k
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