I hold my little dolly doll above most other things in the world. Her little glossy eyes barely seeping onto the ridge of her cute stubble of a nose. Her hair yanked out at parts, and at other parts even burned as it lays messed up in the mud of this little field. It\'s raining outside and inside my shitty convertable with the top broken, and no longer covering the interior. I unlatched the door and half fell out with my porceleon doll tucked under my arm like a football.
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I\'ve become a monster.
An evil entity with malice equalled only by my hatred for myself.
I\'ve become a celestial beast.
I\'m looking down at the porcelean remains of my wife. The remains from when I walked into the house with a gun earlier. The remains from when I smashed her skull into the counter in the kitchen. The remains from me sawing through her jaw to prevent a dental record match. The remains from me cutting her hands off, tearing her hair. The remains are nothing more than a doll, sitting here in my hands. Mouth permanantly agape as if by accident.
I\'m sorry mom, I\'ve become everything you told me not to be.
I tried lighting her on fire. I tried tearing her apart. Her hands, her jaw, and the rest of her non-fabricated face are buried underneath the lake in the middle of the field among the cattails and trees spotting the area. I took my scuba gear and used it to bury her remains under rocks in the lake floor. I would have buried her body there but didn\'t have the heart. This was my wife, my beautiful, happy wife.
I\'ve killed before and I will do it again.
I look up one final time before I leave.
\"I\'m the last one she ever loved!\"