Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
0.00

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

I saw you
Sleeping,
then blinking against the harsh light
of the world you had barely joined.
I loved you
Instantly
From the deepest part of me
welcomed you to my clumsy arms

Afraid, a little
You were so small
Fragile
Such innocence is not seen often
In this world of run and smash
And I,
Such a one that does not easily
tread lightly or speak softly
Feared I would mar your being
With the dust I tracked around
From living

But still,
Like a magnet to my steel,
You drew
I could not resist
Your light touched my dreariness
your innocence cleansed me
Somehow
I felt more fragile than you of a sudden

You opened those eyes
Saw me through no cloud of experience
And so, saw me truly
I felt you look into my soul
I felt you see the self I was
When I was new
Before I had to trudge, run, grasp
I felt myself expand into my shell
And will be forever grateful for your gaze.


------
Jewel L


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Shailey"
by JewelL

Love and reciprocity
So simple and so heartfelt - your portrait of this newborn. But equally touching is the adult in the poem - I loved 'this world of run and smash' and 'the dust I tracked around from living'. Loved too the unexpected profundity of the idea that we can somehow be renewed by the unmarred gaze of our unmarred children. Beautiful... and inspiring.

( Posted by: MobiusSoul [Member] On: December 3, 2005 )

Innocense
Beautiful poem. Could have fell apart but didn't because of the realness.

Especially liked the last stanza - the eyeball to eyeball communication. Like life & death having a benign stare-down.

( Posted by: gomarsoap [Member] On: December 4, 2005 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: