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There is love I can feel it,
From your eyes I can see it,
From your lips I can kiss it,
From your ears you hear it,
I whisper I love you.

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The following comments are for "You"
by Colwyn

Sooo sweet!

This was extremely sweet, what a romantic. How wonderful is that a true romantic left in the world. Jasmine if very lucky;p


( Posted by: Drastine [Member] On: August 30, 2002 )

I agree that it needs a little rhythm change in the last line.... it needs to be a beat longer or a beat shorter... you could take out the "I" or add a "when" or a "can" in there so it matches up with the rest of the lines, or is just a skoch more different than the rest of the lines as a contrast.
That said, I love the simplicity of it, its just a statement of fact, no need for flowery filler. Great job!

( Posted by: JewelL [Member] On: May 23, 2005 )

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