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Keeping up with pace it all goes so fast,
Itís the future passing us by quicker than the past,
Thereís so much to learn in this cyber world,
Where you have to be brave, have to be bold,
Surrender now or prepare to fight,
Or die beneath the neon light.



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The following comments are for "LightSpeed"
by Colwyn

*Smiles*
Colwyn, you know this is my fave one, but I'm going to review it anyway!

Well done for believing in yourself enough to post your stuff. I'm sure it will be appreciated.

--Jasmine
-X-

( Posted by: Jasmine [Member] On: August 21, 2002 )

This fish on land...
Your style is vastly different than my own, but you are a poet, and that's enough common ground for me. One of the things that I see in your style is a kind of broken iambic rythm that catches my attention. I don't know if I like it or even if I understand it, but what kind of poem reveals itself completely? I will say that I'm glad to find your poems and hope to see more posts by you in the near future.
With that said, what I would suggest is answering the question "why?" in your poems, this one in particular. (Then again, our styles are so different that I'm possibly very far off the mark.) Why do you die if you don't stand? If yo wish to maintain your concision, try and narrow the focus of your poems. Please keep posting, and if you ever get a comment that seems rough, I'm sure that Jasmine can tell you th truth about your work...

( Posted by: The Recycled Avatar [Member] On: September 6, 2002 )





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