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People are so confusing. Did you ever think of that? I\'ve spent my life facing one problem after another, and even though I\'ve somewhat overcome them I have always and will always be alone. I know that people will say you are never alone but thats not true. I will probably spend my life doing whatever I want and people will probably always label me as being a trouble maker and this and that. When really isn\'t everybody the same? just because I do what I want not what people say i want does that make me so different? Why do people think that becasue I went throug a rough patch and was addicted to drugs that I can\'t change? I think that people do change and yha so what my parents were drug addicts big deal. Just because something is illegal doesn\'t necessarily make it that bad. I think that things are only as bad as the person who is making the decision. So if someone is being stupid and does a shitload of drugs knowing that their bodies can\'t take it then yha people are going to say \"oh that drug is bad blah balh blah.\" But anyways yha I have had a fucked up life does that make me fucked up? No but people will still label me based on my past instead of my present or even my future. I thinkthat people have no right to label me unless they know me. For example I just started high school again after dropping out for two years. I am 16 years old and have already been addicted to drugs for almost a year. But even though I have quit drugs and I go to school everday sober as fuck people still whisper behind my back thinking I can\'t hear. \"Oh that\'s Misty she\'s a crackhead. She\'s a drug addict she pimps herself off.\" NONE of which are true and nobody has the right to talk about me unless they know what they are talking about and they say it to my face.Then again you think you know your best friend until you hear the words coming right out of her mouth not knowing you are right behind her. Oh well I guess I wrote this just to say that i have been fucked over since the day I was born and even though I have done things I\'m not proud of I still take full responsibility for it but one thing I learned early on is that people love to fuck you over, for awhile I thought maybe I was wrong... But I guess I was right all along.SHIT!!!!

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~~~dream as if you'll live forever...live as if you'll die today~~~


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The following comments are for "I just don't know"
by twistymisty

kindred
Wow, a girl after my own heart and so like me and my friends!!

You said, "even though I have done things I\'m not proud of I still take full responsibility for it"
I'm so impressed that a girl of 16 is so wise as to say something like this! When I was 16, I was always blaming everyone else. Take a second to appreciate your own candor and maturity in taking responsibility for your own screw-ups. So cool!

You said, "but one thing I learned early on is that people love to fuck you over, for awhile I thought maybe I was wrong... But I guess I was right all along"
Don't give up on people. People love to gossip. Also, everybody is an idiot sometimes. Have you ever said something hurtful about a friend and then wished you could take it back? People are stupid sometimes. ****ON THE OTHER HAND****maybe these "friends" of yours that are talking behind your back are just miserable people who are not really your friends. In which case, you are better off knowing now than finding out later!

People will ALWAYS talk. And it hurts. I used to walk down the halls to whispers and even open teasing about lots of things. I gained weight my junior year, so people liked to talk about how fat I was. I had a serious boyfriend for a while, so there was a lot of talk about that ("You KNOW she isn't a virgin. Just look at the way she hangs on him!"). Sometimes they'd mix the two and I'd hear rumors that I was fat because I was pregnant. Nice, huh? It's all crap. You gotta remember that who you are is up to you. If you are a REFORMED drug addict, then look everyone proudly in the eye and say, "I BEAT a habit that could've killed me. What have YOU accomplished?"

I wish you could meet my very best friend. She survived molestation as a child, physical and mental torment from her parents, foster homes from hell, and now endures an "up and down" relationship with her parents. For instance, she told her dad that she was worried about his health and he said, "FUCK YOU" and hung up the phone. That's a quote. The point is that she endured a lot of finger-pointing and whispering in high school, but she put herself through college, and now she is happily married with a great job doing what she loves. You can make it, if you try. Your past and your parents' past have nothing to do with your future if you set goals for yourself and work hard.

This is a really cool site that I like to click on every now and then to reboost my faith: http://www.thechapel.org/html/the_bible_speaks.html

Okay, I just saw this and thought that I could've written it. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one out there that feels utterly alone sometimes. Read some of my rants sometime, if you want to know just how NOT ALONE you are! Take care of yourself!

( Posted by: shel [Member] On: November 20, 2005 )

Misty & don't know...
Misty, people are so confusing, fact, and always will be, but that's not all of us. Girl, I'm a girl of 42yrs and life, "Baby Girl",life can be such the bitch, such the f-in' overs, backstabbing from so called family and friends...backstabbing
cuts through to the heart, I Know...and the questions of why Me? Toughest to answer...

When I was 14yrs, I had a most horrible thing happen to me, not the same as drug addiction, but, Hell all the same. From 14 to say 40+, I've been to Hell and back more than I care to discuss.

I want you to know this, and I'm not trying to push anything on you...you aren't alone, just feels that way, sounds to me as if you are a very strong young woman...You have You! Sure it's lonely at times, I bet youv'e cried barrels of tears...For me it was like Robin was a bull in a china shop, any way I turned I broke something...

Know this, you can learn from your mistakes, you can teach and help others through your knowledge. This could relieve much pain and feelings of burden.

You inspire me, you kicked cracks ass, GREAT JOB...

Love and Luck to you....
Robin

( Posted by: Robinbird [Member] On: November 25, 2005 )





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