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Dear Lucie,

I got your postcard of Denver, Colorado today. I tell you, I melt at its beauty, Lucie. That’s just what I want, it was so peaceful and yet, yes, exhilarating! I am also glad that you were able to find Rod McKuen book(s). Please tell me the title so maybe later on we can compare notes if I do have the same title in my collection.

Hey, I would hate to be the one to fill you in about this: I emailed you before about Claire’s death, and now all across Lit.Org, some people are claiming it was a hoax. I don’t know anymore which is true. Knowing you Lu, you’d surely hate what you’re going to see if you check lit. I don’t know if at this moment, anything subsided at all. Check Claire’s thread Trust Your Instincts and you’ll know all. I wrote one poem about her supposed death and I just leave it at that. Whether Claire really died or not, for me, Claire is anyway gone and we have long ago stopped communicating. I miss her, that’s true, but she’s gone. There was nobody like her at lit that posts poems or writings that could be identified as her and her works. But I can still look into all her writings that are left there; I should be contented with that.

You know what I am so happy about? It’s that You, Ma Bea, Penelope and Renae are real persons and that you all are my friends! You all have been always sincere to me whenever we write or email each other and whenever you send photos to me. Now, Claire was our friend, our poetry thread buddy, our moderator, our supervisor. I choose to leave it at that, and really I am going to miss her very much. It’s too bad nobody could continue what she started – and anyway, so I don’t blame her – she ended through her announcement Trust Your Instincts. I can never be angry at her because she already said goodbye to us through that thread, and that was final to me. Maybe Claire chose to die in just one forum until one person from that forum went to ours and told us the news. I don’t blame him as well; maybe his intentions are nothing but good. Oh, yes, I am so sure his intentions are good.

Lucie, you’ll notice that this letter talked about Claire only except for that first paragraph, because I am going to publish this over at lit.org, so as for me to share what I believe and feel and plan in relation to the ‘death’ of Ms. Claire Robinson, who undeniably lived among us in this cyber-world.

Love you always,
Peter a.k.a You Know

(Lucie, Ma Bea, Penelope and Renae are my email and/or snail-mail friends, in my one year at Lit.Org, I made over thirty friendships, but the four names I mentioned are the persons who have been with me the longest time, through thick and thin, through my on and off days in the cyberspace).


------
*************************************
crystal face I kiss
tongue tastes like sweet cold rain
I fall into pond





Comments

The following comments are for "Dear Lucie"
by peterpaulino

heartfelt
Good points, Peter.

Hey, I'm your fanged and cranky friend, too, y'know!

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: November 14, 2005 )

In memoir of Claire

Peter, I can see how much you are affected by Claire¡¦s leave and death..from your own words , I understand she was close to you and have much great influence on you ,as she had on most of us .
I can also see how you feel puzzled about the truth about her death¡Kactually; all who knew Claire and cared for her were shocked and puzzled because of the hocu pocus scam at last week in her thread. I don¡¦t know what is the real purpose behind it , but all I know and believe it is true that Claire is dead .At least Crowe , whom I trust here in lit ,in addition to other members ,confirmed that and I believe that whatever was written about her was the real hoax, not her death!
Anyways, I just asked the admin to end up this mess and thank God that Crowe closed the thread¡K
Back to your article , you mentioned four names at lit.org and described them as real people¡Kwell..maybe what was written about Claire made a legend of her and that she doesn¡¦t exist and make you describe them as real, but that doesn¡¦t mean that the rest of the members are legends!

I am real, other members here whom I know for long time as e-friends or keypal are real too¡K.I hope that you will plant much of your trust in lit.org¡¦s good members.Now you can go back to sleep, for the nightmare in claire¡¦s thread is over¡Kgoodnight sleep tight ƒº

All the Best
Hiba


Ps. BTW, Penelope has just set a thread on Claire¡¦s honour, I don¡¦t know if u popped there

( Posted by: fairgrace [Member] On: November 14, 2005 )

Peter/ On Claire
Indeed. Well said.


Robert William...aka Bobby7L

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: November 14, 2005 )

With Dignity and Grace
Peter ~ I just wanted to say that I appreciate the way you've handled your thoughts on this, with dignity, grace and gentility. It certainly means a lot to me as one member of Lit who would like to see the site go on working as it has at it's best in the past and as it can at it's best in the future.

I was never personally close to Claire. I only ever knew her through the work she did on the site, and so I've been left feeling rather distanced from the recent emotional hubbub. I have found myself thinking that whether Claire was Claire as she presented herself may not be a critical issue. If, on the one hand, she was who she presented herself to be and she's now passed away, it makes a great deal of sense to mourn the loss of someone who was gregariously considerate with her work, her attention and her boundless imagination. If, on the other hand, the Claire we knew was entirely fictional, she nevertheless had a profound impact on a very wide group of people just across this site. I fail to see the harm in the attention she gave to the newer members, in her unfailing enthusiasm, or in the participation and engagement she gave to this little spot on the web through her writing and her varied endeavors. I think, if nothing else, the loss of that still deserves to be mourned.

There's something ironic in taking a magnifying glass to the viability of one member's persona. In all reality none of us ever brings the fullness of who we are to this non-physical space, no matter what our intentions may be. We bring our ideas, we bring our vision, we bring out the things about ourselves that we like and value most and then we all make attmepts to hide our vulnerabilities, our less-fortunate failings, our small dismays about the lives we lead in their less glamorous and more restrictive aspects. In fact, I think re-inventing ourselves as people we would rather be as opposed to the people we are is a very human instinct.

In the largest sense, it's usually our ideals which wind up as our most fictional aspects, because through them we continuously contribute to the story of a future which is not yet real, though we hope it to be. If nothing else, Claire loomed largest in her ideals -- through her spiritual inclinations, through her political opinions, and through her passion about writing.

I see the work Claire did here as a gift of spirit, whether it came from a young woman who died too soon or a someone else entirely, who, for whatever reason, needed to live their life, for a short while, as someone else. I fail to see the value in destroying the legacy of that.

( Posted by: hazelfaern [Member] On: November 14, 2005 )

Peter and his friends
Hey Peter, I too received a post card from Lucy and it made my day. Reading here about "our" friendship makes me happy too. I definately consider you my "real" friend. Hugs and kisses to you!

Nae

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: November 14, 2005 )





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