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I could write something trite of your death.
Something saccharine about all that you are worth – were worth.
Do I use then the past tense, the present, the imperfect for the perfect, imperfect you?
How I recall those lazy days this last summer and the one before that –
the help you provided, making icons of icons, yourself so iconic,
your beauty so real, so becoming that I became not just a fan but a friend,
your publisher, protectant, your ally in arms just as you became mine.

Claire, where do I put you now?
Do I erase your name, your number from my rolodex,
the gentle erase of the pencil mark, the electronic blip that says “gone” in a handheld device
when all I want, love, is your own hand in mine as it ever was.
How enthusiastic you were, bringing my own gift, my illness to the fore,
and me, so ignorant, not knowing of your own quick hard struggles.
How long had you suffered? How many times did you never say, I hurt,
Can no one see these tears? The ones you kept so well hid from the most of us.

You are here. You are gone. Why then this loneliness. Why do is it I feel you near, yet far
as if you wre reaching me with your heavenly lightbulb fingers,
your electric eyes and that Venus body all made for the loving
and god, love you we did.
What are we to do now, without you but watch the sea as it rolls in,
greyed whitecap after whitecap, missing each move of your pen,
missing the swirl of your handwriting, the movement of your hip,
the image of you before us – now here, now gone.


in memorium | C.R.

sadi ranson-polizzotti, november, 2005

------
Sadi Ranson-Polizzotti

http://www.tantmieux.squarespace.com/
http://www.sottovocce.blogspot.com/
http://www.cabinetist.blogspot.com/


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Comments

The following comments are for "now here, now gone"
by sadijane

Sadi/ On Claire
Sadi- You appear to have unique perspective...After plodding through self-serving rants and disheartening comments, some of questionable motivation, it's refreshing to find this.

There are a number of perceptions here, concerning Claire's departure...varied as eclectic array of writers/commentators. Thanks for sharing yours.



Respectfully,
Robert William


( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: November 12, 2005 )

Here and Gone
Sadi- It is nice to see a a thought of Claire on other than "that" thread.
The poem is beautious.
Speaks to all off the loss felt upon death.

"the help you provided, making icons of icons, yourself so iconic,"

"How many times did you never say, I hurt"

"What are we to do now, without you but watch the sea as it rolls in,
greyed whitecap after whitecap, missing each move of your pen,
missing the swirl of your handwriting, the movement of your hip,
the image of you before us – now here, now gone."

very nice... truly, a touching composition-


thought I'd share a 'death' poem with you. The sentiment of loss is universal- thank you for posting your eloquent thoughts-


Elizabeth



How quiet kitchens become
when death first enters a house.
Then, slowly, someone puts on a pot of coffee.
Juice is poured, bread set out.
We must eat.

"Heddy loved this bread, but not the one with the raisins."
"Can I get you something, Mary?"
"Yes, dear. I'll have a slice of that bread,
but not the one with the raisins."

The task of laying aside the daily
conversations and concerns begins.
Painfully we remove the familiar.
Abruptly, we are forced to recognize
that those footsteps will never be heard again.
We strain to allow our ears to hear,
just one more time,
the key in the lock, the opening of the door,
the arrival of the lost one,
just once more.

But it is not to be, and so
we put on our best suit, and wait
for the heart to reattach itself
to a daily routine.


( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: November 12, 2005 )

poem
thanks both for such lovely and encouraging comments; Elizabeth, i loved and love your poem...

Today, our cat, Evgenia passed away and needless to say we are devastated... I relize it's not in the same ball park to all, but the hurt is just as real and profound. Sorry to be so teary; this just happend and i am devastated by both losses... sudden and awful.

best to all,

sadi

( Posted by: sadijane [Member] On: November 13, 2005 )





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