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I held your memory
face down
under the black waves
of my rage.
I watched it sink
dry eyed
in a slow motion
tidal ballet.
From the depths you rise
like Scylia and Charibdes
grinding my bones
into a handful of dust
between the persistence
of memory and the strength
of unfulfilled dreams.

Smile if you're stupid,
laugh if you understand.

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The following comments are for "Drowning you"
by Bartleby

Dark, innit?
There was a lot of emotion in this, but, personally, honestly, it didn't appeal to me.
No offense, there was nothing 'wrong' with the poem itself, maybe I'm just not in that sort of mood...


( Posted by: jasmine [Member] On: August 12, 2002 )

Dark and emotional writing here--and me likey. Good to see your stuff here, Bart. You're a heck of a writer.


( Posted by: Richard Dani [Member] On: August 12, 2002 )

drowning you
I liked this. Somber though it may be. Most people can relate. I think your poetry is getting better and better.

( Posted by: josey [Member] On: August 17, 2002 )

no resolution
I like it since it is not plot-driven. The fact that there is no resolution urges the reader to look into what was not said. Reminds me of the movie "Psycho" :-)

( Posted by: webguy [Member] On: September 13, 2002 )

Imagery suits this well, as her memory becomes a tangible creature. I like very much that it grinds you between the memory and the dream. Much intuition in this piece, it captures the unconscious at work. I would not add any punctuation, it flows. This is possibly your best poetic work.

( Posted by: Malthis [Member] On: September 13, 2002 )

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