Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

Like cool wetness does hot parched earth
Like mother’s milk does baby at birth
In ways that defy
My understanding do I
Wanna do you
To display
Your worth

How can I open your eyes to receive
Anguish immortal, denied a reprieve
How can I set you
Free and then let you
Run once more
To sorrow
And on the ‘morrow
Be deceived

Can I do you like keys that sing of liberty?
Their song brings the dawn to a captive set free
Take my hand and we’ll run
Into an unbearable sun
I wanna do you
Like this
In a tryst
So you’ll see

How a prism does light by releasing its rays
Trapped until handled, fanned out for display
Such secrets hide within
Where true beauty begins
With facets of splendor
That endlessly render
Your myriad unknown ways


Because of Jennifer, of who this is merely a shadow.

Related Items


The following comments are for "How I Wanna Do You"
by Tamir

WOW Tamir!!!!!!!
Um....whew, this is delicious reading. Romantic, sounds like you really know what you want to do..
you did it in your writing. This is an excellent write in my opinion.

Each phrase is good. I find the title may be too weak for the body, but that is ok. It is all about how you want to do.......what you wanna do.

Pleased to have read you,
Darlene :)

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: October 14, 2005 )

The first stanza is
extremely powerful Excellent metaphors. But maybe I would make it shorter. I like the rays from the prism, but the explanation was too long.


( Posted by: greatsmile [Member] On: October 14, 2005 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.