Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

god's upset today, he only went in to drop off a tape,
bought a java, cake, proceeded to the space,
he only paused for a lifetime,
looked at his ride inside those white lines,
thinking it looked even worse in sunshine.

an off white rusty heap of dented panels,
welded like a button flannel shirt, with a striped skirt,
but still nice to handle.

driving through milky way,
he spots a stray lapping spilt milk off the gutter
reminding him of his drinking days.

and the collar reads earth,
but no contact or address, just a skinny cat
on a long street where nothing happens.

Related Items


The following comments are for "god's parking ticket"
by IlichVladikov

Just a skinny cat, huh?
Killer last line in this one!
I wasn't sure about the poem as a whole, really... it seemed to meander rather (what had the parking ticket to do with anything, by the way?) but I don't half love that closing image. Kudos, IlichVladikov.

( Posted by: MobiusSoul [Member] On: October 11, 2005 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.