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Nowhere to go
Blocked roads
Every corner curved
Backwards
Turned, tried,
Only one road left
I toss and turn
To find
no hope Again
I lie awake
Unable to think
A logical thought
It's death you send my way
A plot to imprison my spirit,
am trying to understand.
Dare I speak remnants
Of anger, dare I comment,
thoughts are in control.
I'll be silent,
my sadness
is your comfort.
A monotonous
Bitterness nesting
in 'pregnant silence' ,
I surrender
my plans to you.


------
"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding" Khalil Gibran, The Prophet




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The following comments are for "Monotonous Bitterness"
by Serendipity

Great Message
Without life's pains, we have not lived. As the newborn and it's mother goes through the pains of labor, so must we to live.
Thank you for your comment on my story. It is a true experience in my life.

( Posted by: Irishgreenize [Member] On: October 21, 2005 )

Bitterness
Mona...
why you are downcast?
this poem is extremely depressive...
hope you are fine and pass this sadness
do not surrender..be standing still ..wind will come to its end one day

Hiba

( Posted by: fairgrace [Member] On: October 23, 2005 )

Yes, don't be so sad..
...I agree with fairgrace..don't be so sad. Bad or sad times doesn't last forever.

Take care and bye.

GSVK

( Posted by: G.S.VASUKUMAR [Member] On: October 23, 2005 )

The prophet khalil you quote...
... encourages you about your condition. According to him, the pain you so eloquently describe brings with it a reward. Is the shell of your understanding breaking? Your ability to write such a poem that shows progression and tells a painfully beautiful story suggest that you are gaining more understanding as a result of your experience. So pain is only one side of the coin for you. Hopefully, the joy of this new understanding will be found on the other side of the coin. This is my wish for you.

( Posted by: tamir [Member] On: October 24, 2005 )

Thank you
Thank you so much for your lovely and encouraging comments. I am going through a tought time, and hopefully there will be more cheerful poems soon!!
Mona

( Posted by: Serendipity [Member] On: October 25, 2005 )

Serendipity
Your poem is good but really depressing. it says you are trying to control what you cannot control. let it go.you got low self esteem and it looks like your getten to find comfort and identity through validation from outside yourself. its killing you girl. i don't let bitterness into my world or vocabulary. it is a wasted emotion. move on and lift your head up. think for yourself.God ain't gonna make it better unless you stop hating yourself and others. surrendering to self loathing is pitiful not holy. you're a real good writer.

( Posted by: JPage [Member] On: May 10, 2009 )





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