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President Bush today announced his latest Supreme Court nominee- his close friend and longtime barber Vincent “Perry” Cuomo.



“Vinnie the Blade is a close friend of mine”, the president told reporters. “He’s been cutting my hair since I stopped reporting for National Guard duty back in the Seventies. Boy, those were the days- I wish I remembered them…”



“So Mr. Cuomo is a conservative Italian-American with strong family values, and don’t worry, he’s not related to any New York liberals”, Bush continued. “ He’s always telling stories about the family. His stories helped inspire our new bankruptcy laws. He’s a friend on whom I can depend, like Mike Brown or as I like to call him Brownie, or Paul Bremer or- well I can’t name them all but I choose people I know. Look at our results in Iraq, in the war on terror, our stewardship of the Federal budget, our response to natural disasters and rumors of global warming, which means the results speak for themselves. I don’t understand why people are doubting me on nomineers lately.”



In response to questions about Mr. Cuomo’s qualifications and conservative credentials, the president replied, “Perry is a true conservative. There’s only three choices in his shop- regular, crew cut, or flattop. His comb always parts straight and narrow on the far right. No styling, no trim, no shampoo girl. No fancy pants hair care stuff to sell you or use on you- just talc, Vitalis or Dapper Dan, and the blue water he keeps his combs in. He won’t even tell me what that stuff is. I wanna see the Senators’ faces trying to pry an answer out of this guy. Plus he’s a minority, an Italian-American. What this means is that a majority of Americans are not descending from Italy.”



The president also announced that former FEMA head Michael Brown would receive a Presidential Medal of Freedom for “defending States’ rights from Federal meddling” during the hurricane Katrina crisis. “Plus I think I’ll make Brownie ambassador to someplace nice”, Bush added.

s1006052005 <&;-{3



------


"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesman and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do."

- Ralph 'Where's Waldo' Emerson




"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like. And I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."
- Bilbo Baggins













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Comments

The following comments are for "Rough Justice"
by drsoos

drsoos/ Keith Richards' stylist
Dr- Thought this was going to be "Bigger Bang" related...It was like going into wrong door at movieplex!...

Thanks for bringing some levity to an unhumourous situation.

"I used to be your little rooster..Now I'm just one of your cocks.." -Jagger 2005

BobbyG

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: October 7, 2005 )

Bigger Bank

Hey, I wasn't trying to be deceptive, but I do try to create attractive and/or witty titles, and I've been hearing a good amount of airplay of tracks from the new album recently while this piece came together in my mind, and the title fit my fictional nominee, and could entice Stones fans to take notice. That's my story...

Speaking of lyrics (well you did so I will) a large bank is sponsoring the current Stones' tour, and promoting the tour and itself with ads using a portion of the song "Start Me Up". It got me thinking...

Who needs free checking? My bank can make a dead man come.

The "Go Phone" people might want to reconsider their use of the Ramones' "Blitzkreig Bop" (Hey ho let's go/ Shoot 'em in the back now).

Thanks for reading and commenting.

s

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: October 7, 2005 )

Stones are Bank!
Perhaps: Pink Floyd's "Money."


"Just give me money/That's what I want.." - (Lennon-McCartney)

Doing my count,
BobbyG

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: October 7, 2005 )

Miered in controversy...


...would have been a much better title for this.

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: October 20, 2005 )





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