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this poem really has no punctuation. no order, i don't think. it just was written that way. i mean, most of my friends who read it don't really think about stuff like that. i know the people here do. i don't really know where i'm going with this, but this is probably one of the strangest poems i've written, even though it has been called beautiful. i just want to know what anyone's imput or opinion is, so please read and review. thanks! ~k-t
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Wavering
i'm finding reasons
finding a place
where the skins so thin
where it could be
an accident
i roll over in bed
seeing your face
right next to mine
but it wavers away
it wasn't there
in the first place
i sit on the floor
back against the wall
where i can see
all the sides around me
i decide
that this place
wasn't meant for me
i wasn't meant to be here
god made a mistake
i rest my head
against my knees
hoping it won't be long
until i feel like i wont
need to bleed
hoping things
pass and go
like they normally do
i realize i don't
need to feel things
i don't need to be held down
with pangs of regret
i find all the places
where i think i'm dead
i cut them away
cut them off my skin
ripping and tearing
left and right
i feel like i'm free
like someone who feels
like they're wisked
off their feet
i feel so fake
i don't feel like i'm real
my skin made of wax
my teeth made of pills
slowly going numb
my sides feel fuzzy
against the wall
otherwise feeling nothing
but the pulse
of the heartbeat
against my back
i wish you were there
more than i have
ever wished before
i wish someone
could just hold me
i'm not the monster
you think i am
i'm sorry if
i'm scaring you
i can't really say it
without it coming out
any more wrong than i
meant it to
i want you here
i want someone
to feel my fingers
because i can't feel
i want to feel something
maybe you're something
maybe i can
feel you when you reach
it's not that hard
not that confusing
and when it all
boils down to it
i'm not existing for me
i'm existing for something
more than a pulse
more than i feel
in a dream
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