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We would talk for hours into the midnight navy
Of frosted sprinkles and banana moons
Three hundred eighty-four thousand four hundred maybe
Showing us the way with the patterned blues.

We’d speak of the flowers and how fine they are
We’d speak of the many new days we have had
Though so far yet so close like a crimson star
We’d speak of grey days both the good and the bad.

So now we look on to the meaning of “save me”
When the fluff in the sky turns yellow afternoons
Into goodnight dreams of sane gone crazy
I know we both love red roses in bloom.

------
Kellie Lachata


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Comments

The following comments are for "I’d Choose the Red Rose"
by ducktape

Very Refreshing
Kellie;
I enjoyed this read; Very refreshing, I got a great image of just enjoying life. One day at a time! Great write Kellie.



Blessings,
{{{Jeannie}}}

( Posted by: JEANNIE45 [Member] On: September 27, 2005 )

Loved this
This was beautiful, and very enjoyable. I loved the imaagery and flow. The only part I wasn't sure I understood was the last verse.

I got hungry reading it for a minute there, I'm going to go eat a sugar cookie with sprinkles and a banana - just remembered I haven't had breakfast.

:)

Felicia

( Posted by: FeliciaStone [Member] On: September 27, 2005 )

Big props
Kellie,

This is another of your best poems (that I've read here at least). It shows a maturity, the subject matter is very mundane, but with the vivid simile of midnight navy and banana moons the entire scene is like a good painting appearing before me as I read.

Very good: the last stanza is a little strange, doesn't quite seem to fit, yet it is the anchor of the poem, very well worded (I think).

Do more like this -- look at simple and trite elements and see if you can infuse them with simile, metaphor or what ever tools of creative writing bring them to life.

BW

( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: September 8, 2006 )





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