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So I came home
And fell once I was in the door
Began talking to Joe
Wondering if it would help out
But it didnít
And when I was done
I felt the same
All I needed was a little

So after my panic attack
I felt so bad
I felt nothing
I donít know what it is
But after I cut
I felt something

And I said I wouldnít
But that was a lie
Because I did it
And Iím sorry

So I needed to smoke
And I got five bucks
Went to go get a bag
When John and Ben stopped
I hopped in and was surprised
When John had said
Give me five bucks
And youíll get a line
So I did
And for a minute
Everything was fine

I got home the second time
And I felt alright
So I called up Jason twice
He never answered
I went for a walk
Saw Brettís car there
And thought
Are they really my friends?

So I continued to walk
And I began to cry
I came home
Right after Brett returned
Went into my room
With a pocket full of tissues
And I cut again
Used them to wipe up the mess

Why I asked myself
I havenít in a long time
Could it be because
My ďfriendsĒ treat me like shit
So I cried
And cut even more
Have yet to tell them
Whatís on my mind

The thought of cutting
That it makes me just fine

------
~ Brandan Michael.


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Comments

The following comments are for "Cut Again"
by fbomber125

I wish
I wish I could say so, but I can't.

( Posted by: fbomber125 [Member] On: September 23, 2005 )

cutting
Brandan , Please get help ....I have a friend who mutilates herself also not by cutting but by chewing on her fingers and making them bleed and by scratching her arms until they bleed then she chews the scabs and eats them...there is something wrong with this wanting to hurt yourself...I will pray for you in hope that you will seek help ....If I could hug you right now I would...to show you someone does care...Kacee

( Posted by: Nitz Kitty [Member] On: September 23, 2005 )

Cutting doesn't cut it
Eric, I don't think one is 'born' with the desire to hurt themselves and regardless, I don't think you meant to say that. This is besides the point.

Brandan, I don't think that the problem is your friends treating you like shit but rather it's you treating yourself like shit. I agree with the others that you should take your poem or cry for help and get some real help.

By the way their are healthier ways to be masochistic, such as working, running a lot or even paying $4.00 a gallon for gas. Well take care and best of luck.

( Posted by: poliarch [Member] On: September 23, 2005 )

cutting to the chase
one of the fastest growing trends among teens in america is this self mutilation stage, it has become a fad, and yet to some a way of dealing with sadness and depression, I've actually talked to a few that told me "the release of the blood feels like their pain and being let out of their soul".....The sad part is that the scars, the hiding, the lying, will only create more guilt and pain, so they'll continue cutting until one day they'll go to deep, or take the final plunge....My question to this is, what the hell have we done to the children of the world to allow it to come to this. I myself, had many problems as a child, more than I care to remember, but never to the extent where I felt that self harming was the answer, and frankly I wouldn't give anybody the satisfaction to knowthat they caused me to hurt myself....My suggestion is to put the blade away, take a long hard look in the mirror, and try dealing with the inner you in a positive manner, don't hurt yourself over a friend that really isn't a friend to begin with....Get a grip, life is a struggle, but at least fight back without making yourself weak with the loss of blood....peace

( Posted by: poetryman [Member] On: September 23, 2005 )

well
I know I didn't do it because of my friends...
I did it earlier that day not because of them, but because shit just piled up
than when everything felt alright
I found out the dissed me
And that made me hurt even more inside

( Posted by: fbomber125 [Member] On: September 25, 2005 )

Inner Strength
Brandan;
Whenever you feel like someone has let you down, or hurt your feelings. don't hurt yourself, ask God to send someone who you can trust to help you. You are a beautiful being, don't hurt yourself, it is not worth it. It is people out there that can love you for you and you need to stop depending on those who let you down, Get up, Brush yourself Off, and go on. Make new friends, but don't think that no one loves you. Tell self, you are SOMEBODY! Remember that always. No one said living in this side of the world would be easy. Learn to Love yourself Brandan.


Blessings,
{{{Jeannie}}}

( Posted by: JEANNIE45 [Member] On: September 27, 2005 )





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