Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(1 votes)

RatingRated by

You must login to vote

Leaning over the table on our lunch date I excused my position in conversation and sat trapped in the solemn solitude of her saturated stare. With her eyes pleading further exclusive attention, I calibrated the succinct dances of her glowing green globes to the syncopated serenade of her silenced words. I wish her eyes would disturb my aural serenity again.

Related Items


The following comments are for "her optical cavern"
by ESeufert

third time around
I've read this poem several times. I liked it the first time I read it even though it made me slow down and really think about the words. It reminds me of a tee shirt that said " I don't use big words when diminutive ones will suffice!" I loved that shirt!!!

( Posted by: josey [Member] On: August 7, 2002 )

I don't know what to make of this. It leaps out at you from the page [uh, screen], that's for sure. I had to re-read it a few times to make sure I hadn't missed anything.
I was always taught that putting that amount of long words into such a small space is either going to create a disaster or a masterpiece. This time it's definitely fallen on the good side of that equation.

( Posted by: Spudley [Member] On: August 8, 2002 )

Scent of A Woman
although "calibrated" sounds a bit off in terms of organizational unity, that word provides the piece specific attention to that action of wanting: that which in a desire to understand, measures.

I like it.
(yeah, I'll send a copy to my girl)

( Posted by: webguy [Member] On: August 9, 2002 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.