her optical cavern
by ESeufert (Member) - published: August 3, 2002
Word Count: 60 Word Bytes: 359 Viewed: 527 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by ESeufert

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Leaning over the table on our lunch date I excused my position in conversation and sat trapped in the solemn solitude of her saturated stare. With her eyes pleading further exclusive attention, I calibrated the succinct dances of her glowing green globes to the syncopated serenade of her silenced words. I wish her eyes would disturb my aural serenity again.

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Comments

The following comments are for "her optical cavern"
by ESeufert

third time around
I've read this poem several times. I liked it the first time I read it even though it made me slow down and really think about the words. It reminds me of a tee shirt that said " I don't use big words when diminutive ones will suffice!" I loved that shirt!!!

( Posted by: josey [Member] On: August 7, 2002 )

Woah.
I don't know what to make of this. It leaps out at you from the page [uh, screen], that's for sure. I had to re-read it a few times to make sure I hadn't missed anything.
I was always taught that putting that amount of long words into such a small space is either going to create a disaster or a masterpiece. This time it's definitely fallen on the good side of that equation.

( Posted by: Spudley [Member] On: August 8, 2002 )

Scent of A Woman
Whoa!
....
although "calibrated" sounds a bit off in terms of organizational unity, that word provides the piece specific attention to that action of wanting: that which in a desire to understand, measures.

I like it.
(yeah, I'll send a copy to my girl)

( Posted by: webguy [Member] On: August 9, 2002 )

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