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10PETERPAULINO

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Dropping across a silent sidewalk
A single leaf, remnant of a long passed Fall,
Scurried past broken stone and dirty snow.

Century old victorian homes,
With tall ceilings and steepled crests,
Like a line of sentries watching it pass.

While Spring sat on the horizon,
With Fall a fading memory forgotten,
A dreary sky looked down remorseless.

On the sidewalk lay a man,
Broken hearted, dead to the world,
Life's blood spilled for little honor.

Gang sign written near his body,
Proclaimed a victory of sorts.
The leaf never learned his name.

------
Never surrender



Comments

The following comments are for "There are no tears"
by Reed

No Tears
Hi Reed,

The only suggestion I have for this poem is in the first two words "dropping across". It's a difficult image to interpret at first.

I like the consistency of the tone and pacing of this poem. It's well crafted. Fairly eerie.

Lans

( Posted by: GibsonGirl [Member] On: September 15, 2005 )

Honest imagery
Thank you, Lans, I think you're right, but I also think it will be difficult to capture a better image now. It requires an honesty I'm unsure of recreating.

Written a couple years ago, it's one of my favorites so I wanted to make it my first contribution here. At the time, the "leaf" wished to exorcise an image seen from his apartment window.

Though it's not "published", "Clairesbest" featured it on her personal webpage, so it also serves as a tribute to the woman who introduced me to this site.

( Posted by: Reed [Member] On: September 16, 2005 )

Jesse welcome to Lit.
I did have a bit of difficulty of "Dropping across". Only because the image of a leaf is often feathery and light. Drop seems heavy.

The rest of this poem is very good. The visuals are great, wonderful description.

You wrote a great ending. I like this alot. Thanks for posting and sharing with us Jesse, and welcome to Lit.

Darlene

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: September 16, 2005 )

How beautiful!
I think your poem is beautiful. The seasons, and the situation are both painted beautifully with a fine and a broad brush. My thanks for your sharing it.

Claire

( Posted by: Clairesbest [Member] On: September 17, 2005 )

No tears
Without tears is even more sad than having it anywhere here. Those Seasons are like gods watching over that's everything in here. Thank you for taking me to some place nobly beautiful, yet lonely. :)

( Posted by: PETERPAULINO [Member] On: September 17, 2005 )

Thank you all
Thank you Darlene, Claire, and PETERPAULINO for your warm and welcome comments.

I think one's writing should speak for itself. For you who've had a chance to see the wizard and make up their own minds already, I don't imagine it would hurt to show what Toto saw behind the curtain. I am the leaf.

First stanza. Down my apartment stairs, crossing the street, kneeling to see a young man beyond help. Second. I knew the neighbors watched behind their windows. Third. There are no tears. Fourth, fifth. The tomb of the unknown soldier.

My greatest weakness as a writer is that I can only write about what I've seen, so I do what I can to see it honestly.

( Posted by: Reed [Member] On: September 20, 2005 )

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