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Childhood... bear with me here… When your biggest worry was that Jimmy down the road stole the balls out of your “Hungry Hungry Hippos” to throw at his GI Joes, like grenades... You're contemplating that you might have to go take your balls back, but when you think about how Jimmy gave you a bloody nose last week out in the sandbox, you decide it's better to tell your mom, and let her use her magical powers of "getting things" to make your balls re-appear... either that, or get you a new $30 Nintendo Game, that she pretends is breaking the bank (just so she can teach you that she DOESN'T really have magical powers...). This makes you feel better…
Angie down the street gave you a kiss on the cheek last week... and then you tried that weird open mouth thing you saw in the movies... but when your tongues accidentally touched, it grossed you out, and instead you got into a fight with her, and were having fun until she scraped her knee and started crying... You're contemplating giving her a caterpillar skewered on a stick the next time you see her, to make up for the injury.
You ride in the car to JC Penny’s with your mom and your bro, and are doing your best to keep from snatching the Gameboy out of his hand, because you remember, about 20 seconds ago, mom told you that if you didn't calm down, she wouldn't take you to Toys R' Us afterward, where you could each spend an exorbitant $5 each on whatever you wanted... The excitement has you wired, and just makes it harder to calm down... In JC Penny’s, you end up pulling your brother's hair trying to get at the Gameboy, and he starts crying, and mom says that you've just blown your Toys R' Us chances... so you start crying as well...
On the way home... as you pass by Toys R' Us, with your nose pressed against the car window, your heart jumps... and you let out a sigh. Your mom thinks this is cute, so she swings the car to the left, and when you look up, you see a giant red lemon shaped sign... Dairy Queen!! You can have one of ANYTHING you want... Oh Joy!! So you think fast and order a Dip-Cone... and then you're brother gets a Blizzard... Haha, he lost out... a Blizzard?.. that doesn't even have a cone! As you're jumping for joy, your mom places the cone in your shaking hands... and you devour it before your brother even gets the plastic top off his Blizzard... Well, goddamn, now he's got something and you don't...
You try to resist the urge... 1 minute... 2 minutes pass... you're fiending for the more delectable soft serve... 3 minutes... "Hey, can I have some?", "no." 4 minutes... "pleeeease!!"... "(insert name here), leave your brother alone! You already had yours!" 5 minutes... 6 minutes... "psst... hey, can I have some?”, "NO... Mom, (inh) won't leave me alone!" "(inh) STOP IT now or you're gonna go to your room!"
“My god,” you think, “how could life be such hell!?” You reach for the Gameboy... Super Mario Land just isn't the same anymore...
15 years later you've mastered the open mouthed kiss... You've got a scar on your hand from when the guy down the street stole your balls when he shacked up with your girlfriend. Your buddy's hogging the X-box you have in your living room. Your brother's off at college, and you're scrounging up cash to pay that cell phone bill. The last skewered caterpillar you gave cost $220... and you realize that sometimes, $30 really does break the bank... Wish you could make it to Dairy Queen... still love the taste of ice cream...still better on the cone...
(Some fun with Second person perspective)
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(C)SESEU (Sir Edwin Santos Enterprises Unlimited)
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Marty
