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I've never showed anyone else my writing until now. You don't have to go gentle:

Obituary for the Past: Birth of Hope.

Wake in the morning alive breathing
staring up at a familiar blank ceiling
caught up in a whole of uncertain dismal feeling
fragments of joy are stampeded but slowly healing
face the day.

The smooth pitter-patter of wet can be heard from inside
the slow beat oddly resembles candy being devoured by the mind
search that, and undoubtfuly find
scattered dreams frozen in some hallucinogenic time
a cold death.

Playing dead like a possum on unfamiliar ground
act the part of the wounded and suffering is found
if I am the king of pain then where is my crown
trying to shed this skin of cold-blooded betrayal down
getting over you.

A tough breaking away while the heart longs to stay soul battered along the way and still finding a cold rainy day in every dark alley way I mishappen to run down.
Loud carnivorous sounds playing out the apocolypic way on a set of hellish black and whites from a world that shutters and sways which fills every minute in the course of one day.

For an enternity it's been this way.
A race lost in their own mind decay.
Trying to figure out why.

Background.

A catalyst lost
brain storming in manifest thoughts
in love with the blur that cannabis costs
frantically trying to handle this cross
between love and hate.

A girl of course who shattered my soul
it's that story vaugely expressed often related to and told
there were many gullies and cracks in the proverbial road
but everything was bleakly covered as it candescently snowed
I was blind.

Present.

Alive now and all the wiser in the perilous efforts inflicted intune
I ditched that bitch but something festivly still graciously lingers through
those hypochondriac driven chains stuck like an unstopable peerless glue
no gain was ever recorded when there was no hope in view
surreal happiness and knowing was shattered in congical betrayal, this is true.

I lost a year of my life because of you.

Although much more than time was spent.
This poem is my first from vent.
The happiness you showed me will live on, the bad went.
That image is deeply scorched into my mind and bent.

Now the road-block of you is out of my sight
this path has much more in store with my life.

Adding a new standard that will be rarely met.
You are behind me. But hope lies in dreams confect.

Not in depression spent watching the ceiling on some bleak rainy day when I'm winded and dreary.
I have to get up and move on with it all and understand the part of your indecision and brawl.

Keep on and never look back.

A word salad of thoughts descibed as it ends here on paper.



Comments

The following comments are for "A first."
by ambient

comment
it's annoying when the bastards don't respond ;]

pros:
the words, they were nice it sounded nice. I liked the structure too, it sort of rendered it with a nice ebbing, receding sort of flow...

cons:
At the start I feel a bit like you sacrifice the imagery for aural aesthetics.. maybe sacriface some of the nice sounds to build up the picture for someone who can't already see it.. the line 'I lost a year of my life because of you'.. it was like you lapsed out of the persona to try and make a point to someone who wasn't actually you're audience (for me it's the 'maybe he'll read this one day' urge)..

hope it goes well.

( Posted by: Lu [Member] On: November 8, 2003 )





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