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AUTHOR'S NOTES:

For the majority of my high school years, I weaved in and out of a destructive, abusive relationship with a significant other. After the final break-up occurred, we were both left tattered and torn at the proverbial seams. There was a lingering feeling that even if we nearly killed each other while we were together, we were better off that way than being apart. Life was a constant struggle not to give in to the girl again. She had consumed my life and a large part of myself was ripped away when we broke up, leaving me feeling vacant inside.

These events led me to write this song in retrospect. It is a testament to what I put myself through and what the girl put me through, and how I persevered (so to speak) through it all. You'll be happy to know that I did survive the relationship, and that I am now on good terms with this girl, although we are no longer close friends.

In any event, enjoy the poetry: Jayson M. Carter


Here I am Ė a bit confused
A little misguided Ė more than a little abused
I canít figure out how to break these walls
Silence has never been this loud

You donít know how it feels
To hate how it feels to bleed as you wait
To hate it all Ė suddenly surreal
You donít know what itís like to feel


You never understood Ė so whatís the use
Of describing the pain that you put me through
Endlessly you pull me apart
Tearing at the strings that support my heart

You donít know how it feels
To hate how it feels to bleed as you wait
To hate it all Ė suddenly surreal
You donít know what itís like to feel


Itís hard to breath and hard to see
Please let go Ė youíre smothering me
The colors mix and swirl
In this cyclone Ė my own little world

One more time Iíll try to escape
I see you now Ė I see you
I donít want to stay in Ė I want to erase
Erase you now Ė erase you

Itís over now
Now itís done
Iím through now
Now Iím through

Itís over now
Now itís done
Iím six feet beneath
Thanks to you

You donít know how it feels
To hate how it feels to bleed as you wait
To hate it all Ė suddenly surreal
You donít know what itís like to feel


Itís hard to breath and hard to see
Please let go Ė youíre smothering me
The colors mix and swirl
In this cyclone Ė my own little world


------
"If the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem will eventually begin to resemble a nail."


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Comments

The following comments are for "Insomniate"
by Jayson Carter

wow
This was really intense. Like Jessica said, very strong. Great job.

( Posted by: SWHCgirl [Member] On: July 31, 2002 )

Thank you
Thanks for the positive feedback, everyone.

( Posted by: Jayson Carter [Member] On: July 31, 2002 )

awesome
you caught my attention and held it until the very end, which is extremely hard to do. awesome song, i wish i could hear it.

( Posted by: Kailani24 [Member] On: July 31, 2002 )

Admirable
I like it quite a bit. Nice job. I could feel a strong beat for it and found myself humming a little melody for it as I read, which just shows the strength of the piece's rythmn. Very nice work.

( Posted by: vegibrgr [Member] On: November 12, 2003 )





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