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AUTHOR'S NOTES:

This song is really left open to the reader's interpretation. From the start, it's obvious the work revolves around depression. I must admit it is a topic I am all too familiar with. However, the song is not about me in particular. It is more or less about the ambiguity that exists within ourselves as we struggle to deal with others' perceptions of us.

It's easy to think that we know what others think of us, and to get all bent out of shape over it. If I've learned anything in life, however, it's that that concept is totally irrational. Thinking so negatively will lead you down a self-destructive path, and will ruin your health and longevity. Hopefully my work gives you suggestions of what not to do, not suggestions of what you should do.

Enjoy the poetry: Jayson M. Carter


Deprived by your sorrow and pain
Inside your world there’s nothing to gain
Nothing to hide from – nothing to fear
Nothing to see and nothing to hear

Dying and lost – lost in your mind
You hide yourself where no one can find
No one will find you wrapped in your shame
All who’ve loved you have forgotten your name


Nothing is worth all that’s gone wrong
Can’t take the time to correct the flaws
Broken, hurt, forgotten and crying
I’m afraid soon is too late to start trying

Dying and lost – lost in your mind
You hide yourself where no one can find
No one will find you wrapped in your shame
All who’ve loved you have forgotten your name


Blistered and callused – beaten and bruised
You hate being loved and love to be used
Loving being hated and forced to crawl
You must love to fall

Because you fell into this wretched blue
Fell within the haze
You fell – gone without a sign
Waiting on the weight of your hate to end your pain

Dying and lost – lost in your mind
You hide yourself where no one can find
No one will find you wrapped in your shame
All who’ve loved you have forgotten your name



------
"If the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem will eventually begin to resemble a nail."



Comments

The following comments are for "The Haze"
by Jayson Carter

Welcome
Very nice work. I'm surprised i'm the first one to comment on this. Then again, i have a tendency to look for lyrics more than others on this site. It is my own prefered trade.

Anyway, very nice work. I like how it was simple and direct, yet without being cheesy (unlike my latest posting, Sibamae. way too cheesy) And perhaps it's just me, but there seemed to be some very nice imagery in here as well. Hope to see more of your work.

( Posted by: E.G. Evans [Member] On: July 28, 2002 )

The Haze
All in all I liked it a lot. First the bad stuff.

There are places where the rhythm and ryhme lose any sense of coherence with the rest of the piece (the 6th stanza is the most striking example). Maybe you did this for effect and if so my apologies - it just didn't work for me.

Now the good stuff - There are lines in your work that made me envious, particularly; "I’m afraid soon is too late to start trying" and "All who’ve loved you have forgotten your name".

My especial favourite is "Blistered and callused – beaten and bruised
You hate being loved and love to be used", not only because the imagery is right up my alley but because it flows and does so much to convey a complex characteristic and history in two short lines.

I liked the effect of repeating the "Dying and lost..." stanza at the very end.

Good job man!

( Posted by: Enforced Bliss [Member] On: July 29, 2002 )

Song/poetry
I would just like to make a simple observation. When ratings lyrics, remember that songs often change rhythms and tempos. And the music changes, so must the rhythm of the lyrics. Lok at the many different rhyme schemes and rhythms in "Bohemian Rhapsody." I'm just trying to point out that one cannot always look at and judge lyrics the way that one would judge poetry. (I'm not saying you did this, bliss, i'm just saying be careful.) Some of the best songs are one's that keep you guessing and aren't too repetitive. (See TOOL.)

( Posted by: E.G. Evans [Member] On: July 29, 2002 )

Comments from the Author
To Bliss, sorry about the stanzas not matching up exactly, but E.G. Evans is right. My song lyrics are not meant to be read as poetry. They are meant to be performed as songs - rock songs, in fact. I am the lead vocalist/writer of my alternative band Record of Wrong, and I keep my band and their influences in mind when I write my material. Our ability to go from lullaby-soft to neckbreaking-heavy is all the explanation you need in regards to the irregularity of my lines.

The "6th stanza" is in fact the 'bridge' of the song, and repetition is used in the actual song to convey the sentiments in that part for all their worth. I'm glad you all like my work, and I do write regularly, so that I can keep up with the rest of my band! I hope to talk to you guys somewhere down the line! PEACE.

( Posted by: Jayson Carter [Member] On: July 31, 2002 )

great wording
i really like the way you phrase every single line. you do it in such a way that it flows but still has the uncertainty of the person you're writing about. very good mix, and my favorite line is "i'm afraid too soon is too late to start trying." very powerful.

( Posted by: kailani24 [Member] On: July 31, 2002 )





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