Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

Deals heavily in adult themes and language. Not for human consumption.

“Do you think my penis is too small?” God was in my living room, His pants around His ankles.
“I don’t know, Lord. Don’t they have pills for that in heaven?”
“It’s not as small as it looks,” God said, waving His holy member back and forth to some inaudible beat. “See, most people have good or bad hair days. I have God hair, it always looks the same. There’s a lot of it, and it sticks out in every fucking direction. Instead, I have good and bad penis days. When I wake up in the morning I look down into my holy undershorts to check on the blessed phallus, and depending on how it looks, I know what kind of day it’s going to be. Last Tuesday I woke up and the damn thing was hanging halfway down my thigh. I won three bucks from a scratch-off lotto card. Three bucks! But now I think it’s on a waning cycle. Does it look like its receding to you?”
I examined the Lord’s penis. Something was indeed very wrong.
“You aren’t really God, are you?” I asked.
God stopped shaking his penis and looked at the floor sadly.
“No.” He pulled His pants up to His stomach and left.
I’ve been an atheist ever since.

Related Items


The following comments are for "God and Me"
by Spider

Thought provoking. I like it.

( Posted by: strangedaze [Member] On: August 30, 2005 )

Funny as hell is what it is.

( Posted by: MacLaren [Member] On: August 30, 2005 )

divine phallus
What a weird mind you have. Hilarious!

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: August 30, 2005 )

I was hoping you'd find this one.

( Posted by: strangedaze [Member] On: August 30, 2005 )

turn head and cough
this would have been perfect time to check god for hernia

( Posted by: breadman [Member] On: October 14, 2005 )

very amusing. this seems like it could be true.

( Posted by: fcukedupboi [Member] On: November 6, 2006 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.