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Golden sunlight streaming
Through
The little windowpane

Lights up the wooden window
Sill
Signaling mornings last refrain

Sun star ever optimistic
Ushers in a bright new day

Unspoiled and real it illuminates
With golden dreamy ray

The beauty of imperfection.



------
Charmr


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The following comments are for "Dawn Of Imperfection"
by Charmr

beautiful images
poetry at its finest, enjoyed the scenery and the magical beauty you have painted with this piece, is there such a place, or does it exist only within our minds....very nice....peace

( Posted by: poetryman [Member] On: August 23, 2005 )

Dawn of Imperfection
Charmer, This is a lovely poem. I love the last line and also the first stanza. I like all the pieces individually. I think it's a very sweet poem.

Lans

( Posted by: GibsonGirl [Member] On: August 23, 2005 )

poetryman & GibsonGirl
pman, no it is just a thought. I sure do appreciate your comment as my stuff is usually different from this straight up piece. I would do more but my mind most of the time will not back me up. So when I am able to pull it off it is especially good to hear that someone liked it. Thank-You....charmr Lans, Thanks for the same reasons as above stated. Also your breakdown comments and that you thought it was sweet, was nice too.........Romay

( Posted by: Charmr [Member] On: August 23, 2005 )

Charmr
Romay,

I recognise that it's different than the norm for you, which is why I wanted to let you know you wrote the 'Charmer' ;) I think you did it very well. There is a stroke of 'youness' in it yet, though. It comes through in the rhythm thrown off. I notice you do that often. Just when I start to feel it you throw in the speed bump and I know it's intentional. 'Junk Yard Poet' indeed...

But the moral of the poem is that it's sweet, it's charming, and it works. Bravo.

Lans

( Posted by: GibsonGirl [Member] On: August 24, 2005 )

Charming with words,
Romay, I am glad to have come across this and followed Lans's comment "Charmr". I don't have much time, but to sit and read this was quite worthwhile, as was the comments from Bob and Lans.

To sum it up "brilliant".

Dar ;)

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: August 24, 2005 )

sun-charmr
With golden dreamy ray
[should ray be plural? just wondering]
this was nice and i liked the last line-a little twist never chased me away.
LT

( Posted by: LamemansTerms [Member] On: August 25, 2005 )

Lans, Dar, and LT
Lans, Thanks again for the much needed feedback.......Dar, Thank-You so much for the "brilliant" wow thats always a pleaser......LamemansTerms, There are no should or should-nots in poetry, Thank God. Thank-You very much for the detailed comment, these help me a lot..........Romay

( Posted by: Charmr [Member] On: August 25, 2005 )

Dawn of Imperfection
Charmr, I always enjoy your work, but you have me in the habit of looking for your punchline. You caught me off guard that there was not one this time! Beautiful piece. It is always so wonderful to read you!

Nae ;0)

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: August 25, 2005 )

Sun Star!
Romay,

Well apart from the nice poetry and your, what I would call a title and summary designed for thought, you caught my imagination with one outstanding lne:

'Sun star ever optimistic'

This speaks volumes which I am not even going to try to expand on, it's meanings are endless and profound...

Ivor

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: August 26, 2005 )

Nae, Eric, and Ivor
Nae, Thank-You for the very nice comments and keep your guard up, for who knows what I'll say next(not even me)......Eric, good to hear things are imperfect at your place(LOL), Thanks for commenting. Time (the great healer) is always on our side........Ivor, you always get to the meat of any given piece and this one is no exception. You managed to see pretty much everything I was trying to get across in this piece, as always. Thanks for the excellent feedback.......Romay

( Posted by: Charmr [Member] On: August 27, 2005 )

Beautifully done
What more can I add than what everyone has said but then you know my immediate reaction to this from when I read it. I do agree with Ivor about this: 'Sun star ever optimistic.' I would write more but you are wanting me in the garage. LOL!!

Always,
Char

( Posted by: Char [Member] On: September 7, 2005 )





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