Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

Let's talk about loyalty
Synonymous with loneliness
Loyalty is a force field
Blocking a simple exit into the promising unknown

Loyalty is all about devotion
Three years of devotion
To someone who doesn't care if you live or die

Time and loyalty are interchangeable
Flowing in one direction
Faster and faster
With no other purpose than to always push ahead
And to fall deeper and deeper into a doomed trance
With more and more losses along the way

Loyalty is an alternative lifestyle
True loyalty the greatest complexity of all
For true loyalty takes no prisoners
But fights a revolutionary battle in the human mind
With no real outlook on the future
Of sanity's social order

Loyalty is an amnesia case
It batters memories from the past
And leaves no hard evidence
As to how to put Humpty Dumpty back together again
Each tiny fragment left with its own story to tell
And it's own desperate blueprint for serious life progress
Ultimately leading nowhere
Other than relapsed childhood

Loyalty is an intensified shortage of self esteem
A plain black cloak which searches for flowers
Do recall you're nobody until somebody loves you
And add that loyalty cannot advance
Until somebody chooses to become YOU

Loyalty is a drug
Yet its unhealthy
But your loneliness welcomes it anyhow
In exchange for temporary comfort
And personal satisfaction
But loyalty wants to press deeper
And can result in nothing short of suicide

Let's talk about loyalty

Related Items


The following comments are for "Let's Talk about Loyalty"
by claudita

a loyal pain in the
"Loyalty is a drug
Yet its unhealthy
But your loneliness welcomes it anyhow
In exchange for temporary comfort
And personal satisfaction"

albeit most emotional wants are self gratifying, and loyalty these days is a rare find indeed, I classify it as the number 2 rarest gem, with number one being unconditional love....Enjoyed the truth of this piece.....peace

( Posted by: poetryman [Member] On: August 21, 2005 )


I like your poem and cannot agree or disagree with the validity of the points you touch on the subject.
It can be an unhealthy situation if on lets gets to that point, and yes people get themselves in those situations out of loneliness. However, if there is a "contract" whether it be written or verbal, and once that trust is violated, the loyalty situation must end, and perhaps the friendship or relationship.
That is my opinion since you said lets talk about loyalty. I don't care if it is my child, parent, or husband. It goes across the board. That is how I know it lowers ones self-esteem.


( Posted by: macbeth [Member] On: August 23, 2005 )

People miss the central point of my poems all the time and I love it. Its because they don't know me of course. If this poem wasn't so personal your interpretation and commentary would be 100% valid. Thanks for your comment.

( Posted by: claudita [Member] On: August 23, 2005 )

ego stroking

Thanks for the thoughtful reply (which was not needed). If most people don't get your poems and you get of on that fact, then you must be writing ont his site to get your ego stroked. You said lets talk about loyalty, and did not like my response and that is okay. But instead yo are going to just say "I am so terminally unique, you don't know me?"

You need not reply-I don't get off on playing games.


( Posted by: macbeth [Member] On: August 23, 2005 )

hmmmmm, this is an interesting topic that's for sure but I think the one thing it is lacking is your loyalty to it's structure-it doesn't have any. Yes it has stanzas but that is where the structure begins and where it ends. Now I am not saying you don't have some good lines in here-cause you do but you need more of a hook than just loyalty
For instance every stanza you start off with Loyalty and then you compare it too something-which is fine but you basically say what it is like -and then you just flip it around-I think you need more deliberate and less obvious comparisons;
Loyalty is a drug
Yet its unhealthy
[like no kidding]
I also think punctuation would be a good suggestion. For poets that venture into this:
it is a fine line we walk between making sense and making sentances.

( Posted by: LamemansTerms [Member] On: August 23, 2005 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.