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Today the grass seems extra green,
And the sky seems extra blue.
Everything seems so beautiful today,
But not nearly as beautiful as you!

You’re always running through my mind,
And through my dreams like a race!
I dream of you, the beautiful one,
I sleep with a smile upon my face.

I dreamt that I was granted wings
Through the sky that seemed extra blue.
I pushed all the rain clouds away,
And asked the sun to shine on you.

And when I returned back to the ground,
On the grass that seemed extra green.
I found a beautiful red rose
And gave it to you, the man of my dreams.


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Comments

The following comments are for "My Dream Man"
by LiverbirdLou

Liverlou
I see no struggling with this work. I really like it. Nice tight rhythm and rhyme. Off to read your other stuff.

williamhill

( Posted by: williamhill [Member] On: August 22, 2005 )

ahhhhhh
soft, romantic and a very pleasant piece with the exception of the repetitive use of "I"...it's a habit that many of us get into, and finding ways of getting rid of them actually tightens the poem up and makes it read a whole lot better....below are some suggestions, take it for what it's worth, as it's only my opinion which is worth about 2 cents at your local coffee shop and that's with a discount.....peace


Today the grass seems extra green,
And the sky seems extra blue.
Everything seems so beautiful today,
But not nearly as beautiful as you!

You’re always running through my mind,
And through my dreams like a race!
dreaming of you, the beautiful one,
I sleep with a smile upon my face.

I dreamt that I was granted wings
Through the sky that seemed extra blue.
pushed all the rain clouds away,
And asked the sun to shine on you.

And upon returning back to the ground,
On the grass that seemed extra green.
I found a beautiful red rose
And gave it to you, the man of my dreams.

( Posted by: poetryman [Member] On: August 22, 2005 )





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