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What is it that I have to do?
Is there anything that I can do?
Is there a way that I can go back to the days when I believed that it was ok to breathe? The days when it was just me and smoke and I had no reason to be broke.
I thought that everything would be ok, and that life would be easy as long as I had X-Tasy with me, but it left and now I am alone. Full of company that fills my space with misery, and living in X-Tasy is now a mystery because, I no longer believe.
Where is my hero? When does life begin to proceed, and the love in my heart fail to bleed?
When does misery realize what it does to me and stop?
Stop, so that the anger doesnít build up and rage makes my patience bag pop. No longer able to hold on to the emotions that are tied up and stored.
Itís fucked up when you are forced to stay in the game, but you never even scored.
And when you are doing good, you are penalized and all your confidence shot down, by someone whoís around, but not really there.

What is it that I have to do?
Is there anything that I can do?
No, Iím not alright, but what does expressing myself do? Besides start a fight.
Whatís wrong?
A lot.
As I plot on how to escape this prison, I wonder can I even get through the gate.
I am in love with someone that Iím not supposed to be in love with. And dammit, I am tired of everybodyís bullshit.
I have my own bull to deal with. I can barely deal with myself. Iím barely maintaining my health. No longer proud of my wealth, and furthermore, I donít have any help.
Well, help with destroying myself is always there, but help with helping me out is rarely anywhere.
Where is my hero?

Where is my hero?
The one that picked me up from hell and took me to X-Tasy. All the while, staying next to me. The one that turned every sunshine into a moon, no matter what my mood.
And bright lights didnít hurt my eyes, because X-Tasy was by my side. Blocking the rays and keeping me cool.
Some days, I think heíll be back real soon. Please, Please, Please!!! Tell me where my hero isÖ..
My, indescribable love for my X-Tasy is so strong that no matter what storm passes through I keep holding on, but Dammit!!! Iím about to be blown away. Twisted and turned, watered down after being burned. Frozen to a point where I canít move an inch, walking around with my teeth clenched, trying not to say whatís on my mind, so no one comes up behind and puts me to sleep. Not literallyÖ.
But itís not like no one has never threatened me.
Am I afraid? Yes!
Because the same one I run to so they can save me is the same one that will slay me.

Where is my hero? Is there anything I can do?


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The following comments are for "Seriously..."

don't be afraid
believe it or not I hear every word, and I am there with you. The real hero you are searching for is the voice inside of you, the only advice you can trust

( Posted by: SeanMicheals [Member] On: August 19, 2005 )

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