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SEX-CHANGES EVERYTHING
-------------------------


I was a delicate, shy girl
who just wanted to be liked by this guy
more than anything in this world.
but one day...........
They chased me…raped me
only cause I probobly wanted them to.
I knew what I was doing.
Besides he finally said I love you.
although...When you’re on top of me followed.
As did all his friends,
when he told them I swallowed.
They kept their distance,
till he yelled ”Come on you gotta see this”
He kept saying “go ahead baby,
show me how much you love me.”
It was crazy
giving them all head.
9-23 yr olds
blowing their loads
all over me,
it sobered me…
and showed me
a better path-but for not a lady.
I broke up with him a day later.
This wasn’t something a 16 year old girl
could do with a vibrator.
10 years later I’m a materialistic
snob, with a masochistic point of view.
I’ll cut your balls off
as soon as look at you.
The innocence of my childhood was taken.
I'm getting a sex change
then SI'm gonna rape them..

Mz.Lamemansterms

------
If a poet ruled the world......what a pleasant place it would be!
~L.T


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Comments

The following comments are for "SEX-CHANGES EVERYTHING"
by LamemansTerms

Oh wimps/wusses
come on there must be something wrong or right about this. Don't you people have emotion or are ya dead!

( Posted by: LamemansTerms [Member] On: August 15, 2005 )

Not a wuss
I did read this yesterday, but truly did not know what to comment on it. There are a few typos that need to be fixed but that with a small edit can be taken care of. The subject matter made my heart hurt. What do you say in that case? I mean I cannot say "oh lovely write" and don't want to say "ok this makes me feel like crying" so I chose to wait on it. Well at least now you know someone is definately reading and debating on what to say. This subject matter is delicate.

Nae

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: August 16, 2005 )

Lame, this is NOT Sex,
so it is why I read it and left.

Sex is an act that is carried out between constenting and hopefully caring people. THIS, rape and physical assault is not SEX. It is a vicious Crime. I have been through this when I was only 12, I was sexually abused before that and times after. This moved me to pain and anger. So in your writing you accomplished attention.....

There are some mistakes in this and should be rewritten, pick out the errors, as I know you can and you don't really need the help. I believe you have the capability to see....

Most of your writing is done with a reason, often you do get attention, and if you don't you sure call upon it...like this Wusses? LOL, cute Lame.

Also it is nice to know there are unique individuals in all of us that we make this world an exciting place to be.

Telling you IMO, I sure would NOT want this kind of SEX.......rather none for me thanks.

Sorry for this girl that feels she needs to be one of "them" just to get revenge. I on the other hand turned that hate and rage into love and passion for becoming a giving person. All the blame, hate, anger and pain is a killer itself if we let it. Luckily I had "tools" to work with that didn't hurt anyone back.

I am grateful that you are in Lit because it does make for a more interesting read, EVEN if I chose to comment or not. That is MY choice. Thanks Lame. Ms or Mr. Its all good.

Respectfully,
Dar






( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: August 16, 2005 )

Just dropping by . . .
Hey, I found this interesting, if somewhat illiterate and hamfisted. Interesting idea for a poem, though parts of it seem like little more than a desperate attempt to be shocking.

Windchime makes some good points regarding how you can improve your use of language. She's smart and you should listen to her.

(I just re-read it and now I think it'd be better if you cut lines 16-28. It would seem more immediate, less plotted. And your best lines would still be there.)

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: August 16, 2005 )

nae
hey thank you for apeasing my call to arms. I agree with you -sometimes my shock factor can be a bit much/drastic and overboard and leaves you wondering well..how persoanl is this piece..Truth it isn't personal at all and it is all fiction that I made up for a writing challenge. I really do appreciate you atking the timer to comment and offer your opinion thank you.
LT

( Posted by: LamemansTerms [Member] On: August 17, 2005 )

dar
hey dareva thank you much for taking the time here and for giving me some good feedback on the poem here. I know the shock faxctor was a bit much and can touch soime people like yourself maybe the wrong way---BUT like another poem I had on here at one time I only wrote it to open peoples eyes to a problem that is going on wether we like it or not and it is happening all around us -everyday...Maybe this will make people more aware ya know-I am not saying Lamemansterms is now the good-do-er and trying to save the victoms of rape etc --good god No! but I hope you see what I am getting at--Dar really thanks much for no hard feelings about anything and for being the bigger person-probobly than I could ever be-I wish you the very best.
lamemansterms

( Posted by: LamemansTerms [Member] On: August 17, 2005 )

tina-L
I'm sorry if the words didn't sit well with you -I know -well I don't know how it feels but I can imagine and it really is an eye opener--that is all--with a few shock rocks thrown in for fun-almost to make it lighter-eh-
thanks for your feedback it is greatly appreciated
LT

( Posted by: LamemansTerms [Member] On: August 17, 2005 )

windchime
Hi, I appreciate your feedback and good feedback it waas. I like that. I know this wasn't one of my best and when I read it -I even think less of it than that -but I sometimes feel the need to write pieces like this to get my blood flowin-and flowin in weird and uncharted directions. Do you understand what I mean by that?
Anyway your comment was very insightful and inteligent. I really do appreciate you taking the time and hopefully understanding that it isn't what it seems and is what it is!
Thanks
Lamemansterms

( Posted by: LamemansTerms [Member] On: August 17, 2005 )

viper
hey thanks for the feedback on the poem-yeah it is not my best-this I am aware but it isn't all that for shock value but --well if shock means tyour eyes bug out of your head then yeah cause I want you to remeber it but -well you know what I mean-anyway thanks and I agree with you that the above comment is very smart and should be listened to and it will be done and has been noted thank you
LT

( Posted by: LamemansTerms [Member] On: August 17, 2005 )





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