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This is my first post, and I received most of my education in Arkansas so work with me please.

This is my story concerning my experience with marraige...

I ask myself where I have gone wrong. My first marraige ended under alot of strain. We were both young, and under alot of pressure with a very sick premature child. I worked two jobs while my wife took care of our little girl. Our demise was almost understandable. When she finally got back into the workplace, she was tempted by another young man and ended up coming home at 2am hugging him in my garage. I questioned the extent of the relationship, but my questions were answered shortly after she moved out and he began spending the night at her house. Obviously, they were great freinds. And, our marraige was essentially over. I gavce her anything she wanted including costody and $1200 a month child support, and continue to pay as agreed to this day. I even helped support her during times of need when she had no man on the side to help with her bills. I figured it was my job.

Now, going on to the more disturbing marraige. I moved on as expected. I found what I believed to be the perfect woman in every sense of the word. She was kind and caring. She tolerated my initial insecurities. She supported me in every aspect of my career as I did for her. Nine years later, changes obviously occurred. But, for some reason, it came as a surprise to me. I thought my wife loved me just as much as I loved her. I devote my life to my current wife and son. I do not fish, hunt or any of the normal "man things". I take my family camping and atv riding. I take them on cruizes or vacations of some sort once of twive a year. I make a six figure income which provides for this lifestyle. I actually thought we had the perfect life. Then, one day, I find out she is involved with another married man. She lies and lies, but in the end the truth comes out. She not only called him 15-20 times a day, she would plan private meetings... only one of which I can prove. But, that seems to be the norm. If you can't prove it, it did not happen, until you do prove it and then there is some lame justification for the betrayal and the lie.

Now, here I am eight months after the affair, still married. I decided to go ahead with the divorce because the deciet and betrayal continues. I will lose my retirement, but keep our home and all the bills that go with that. I will fortunately get my some every other week splitting time 50/50 with my soon to be exwife. In addition to this, I will pay child support, not only on the first cheating wife, but the second as well. I am not sure how I will get by without my som who I love with all my heart. The same goes for my wife. I love her more than anything in this world. But, I have been given no choice. The continuing betrayal is killing me.

So, here I find myself soon to be divorced twice with two children by two different mothers. Worst yet, I still love my current wife. I will get along fine financially, even though I am keeping all the debt from the relationship, including paying off the wife's new BMW.

So, now my life with consist of coming home to a huge 4 bedroom, 3 bath, 3 car garage home with a useless pool and hot tub in the back yard that I no longer have an use for or desire to own. I will spend every other week lonely and afraid to enter another relationship. This has been my price for marraige. I am a two time failure, who has done nothing but love and support my wife and son. But, none of that matters, I failed either because I married the wrong women or failed in the relationship. The courts pay little attention to the cause of divorce, and I would not want to force the issue anyway, and in turn humiliate the person I love. So, I guess my delimma is, why marry? Why even try? If it fails, the laws favor the mothers, and the fathers get screwed. Now, I know htere are deadbeat dad's but that is not me. I pay my support to my exwife and get my daughter every chance I get. I also coach my sons soccer team and help coach his baseball team. I try to be a good father in every sense of the meaning. But, in the end, I am left broken hearted and somehow unable to live up to the expectations of my wife. So, now this is my life. Jaded, alone every other week, and done. I am lost and the price of marraige has been too costly for me. I do not see myself ever doing it again. I just sit back and wonder what it really takes to satisfy women in our society, and if it is even possible.

------
Grasshopper





Comments

The following comments are for "The Price of Marraige"
by grasshopper

women
Ok, I really really don't think one woman that screws you over count as the entire representation for our society. In fact, this woman sounds like someone that is not of the norm for this society. Honestly, I think there's some mental issues (no offense) behind your reaction to it. Loving someone that clearly never cared about you is not healthy, or normal. Frankly, I suggest just taking a break, reevaluating yourself and get some therapy or something. Shrinks are actually helpful.

Anyway, on to the writing. This was, bar a few typos, very well written and expressed well. While I don't support using a site such as this as your blog, you have clearly demonstrated that the writing and expression is worth reading, and therefore the subject matter is acceptable. So... good work with the writing, condolences for the content.

( Posted by: xitwound117 [Member] On: August 15, 2005 )





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