Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
9

(1 votes)


RatingRated by
9macbeth

You must login to vote

I thought I was strong
Strong as I needed to be

To hurt
To hate

But I wasn't
Not enough to be myself
To do what was right

To end this fight;
Not alone
But together [we] can

Let them see that I am not afraid,
To be myself

PoetFreak


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "True Strength"
by poetfreak

It has been awhile
This is my first poem I have wrote in awhile I am trying break through my writing block. Any comment are useful.

PoetFreak

( Posted by: poetfreak [Member] On: July 25, 2005 )

Thanks
Thank your for your input I am having a hard time starting to write again because I stopped for a month and I can't seem to get my words back. I understand that this poem is tedious I even questioned submitting it to the website; but i desperately need improvement so this is my crash course back into writing. Thank you again.

PoetFreak

( Posted by: poetfreak [Member] On: July 26, 2005 )

strength
Poetfreak, I think Pen has nailed it. Read it out loud. I suggest cutting and re-evaluating the message which seems lost in the repetition. I've pasted your poem below and removed all the repeditive words and phrases.

Now I'm not suggesting that this is a better poem, its just a tool to help you evaluate what you have. Once the extra stuff is stripped out, the message becomes clearer. Hope its helpful. -Philo


I thought I was strong
Strong as I needed to be

To hurt
To hate

But I wasn't
Not enough to be myself
To do what was right

To end this fight;
Not alone
But together [we] can

Let them see that I am not afraid,
To be myself

( Posted by: Philo [Member] On: July 30, 2005 )

Thank You
Thank you for your help it was hard to figure out what was wrong with the poem. I will remember this tool for future reference because I repeat myself alot. Thank you again.

PoetFreak

( Posted by: poetfreak [Member] On: July 30, 2005 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: