Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
0.00

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

mapaglaro, mapang-akit
ang iyong mga labi

pitik ng mga daliri
haplos sa pisngi

mata'y nangungusap
nagsasabi, nagpapahiwatig

panandaliang saya
naka-ukit sa iyong mga labi

isang saglit ng kahibangan
isang saglit na kahangalan

sa kandungan ng isipan
mapaglarong kapalaran


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "temtasyon"
by yellowpaintedsky

Yellow Painted Sky
I sure would like to know which language you are writing in. Just for reference, anyway. Sometimes I can guess, but I am not sure here. Are your English works translations of the non-English pieces?

Lans

( Posted by: GibsonGirl [Member] On: July 18, 2005 )

Lans and Yellow
Hey, I'll help by answering your question: our friend YPS here writes in Filipino. This poem was about temptation.

YPS, there is one good line here, 'kandungan ng isipan'. But I notice there are missing thoughts, making the poem's meaning a bit obscure. I would think the girl being talked about here is someone from the imagination, but why 'mapaglarong kapalaran'? It's my one million peso question. :) Maybe you can sacrifice the rhymes and come up with a bit more pleasing imagery, that will be alright. I like the title and its spelling. :) It was written as how we Filipinos would pronounce it.

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: July 18, 2005 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: