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mapaglaro, mapang-akit
ang iyong mga labi

pitik ng mga daliri
haplos sa pisngi

mata'y nangungusap
nagsasabi, nagpapahiwatig

panandaliang saya
naka-ukit sa iyong mga labi

isang saglit ng kahibangan
isang saglit na kahangalan

sa kandungan ng isipan
mapaglarong kapalaran

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The following comments are for "temtasyon"
by yellowpaintedsky

Yellow Painted Sky
I sure would like to know which language you are writing in. Just for reference, anyway. Sometimes I can guess, but I am not sure here. Are your English works translations of the non-English pieces?


( Posted by: GibsonGirl [Member] On: July 18, 2005 )

Lans and Yellow
Hey, I'll help by answering your question: our friend YPS here writes in Filipino. This poem was about temptation.

YPS, there is one good line here, 'kandungan ng isipan'. But I notice there are missing thoughts, making the poem's meaning a bit obscure. I would think the girl being talked about here is someone from the imagination, but why 'mapaglarong kapalaran'? It's my one million peso question. :) Maybe you can sacrifice the rhymes and come up with a bit more pleasing imagery, that will be alright. I like the title and its spelling. :) It was written as how we Filipinos would pronounce it.

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: July 18, 2005 )

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