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So what now, then?
It's night time and my
Thoughts run smoothly
To the dull hum of the
AC buzzing, just as unnatural
And chilling now,
It's an inevitable end
Of what I'm thinking,
This pseudo-ice mechanical breath
Of freon fortified oxygen.
There has to be an end to what I'm thinking.
It's cold as shit, my hands are
Shaking, waivering always for
One reason or another.

So what now?
We are precisely one eternity
From last summer--
That sounds dumber than I meant it
To. Damnit, I'm not this way
With you, the canned perfect
Lines. I want to say it straight
But it's so damn cold, I can't
Even think enough to tell you
That things have changed so much
And I don't know what that means,
Instead of dancing my way around it
In vaguely shaped metaphors
Like I always do.

So what now? Tell me!
What, after all of this heartbreaking
Honesty, after this hope that
You gave me?
I can't force you to protect
My sanity, and keep me safe
From myself so I don't leave you.
I can't ask that of you.
You told me that I was strange
And beautiful-- what does that mean?
What is that worth to you?

So what now?
All of the pieces fell apart
And crashed together again-
Order to chaos to perfection-
And I'm just supposed to accept that?
Nothing is ever that easy.
No one is ever that accepting.
But I know, if you were here to answer that question
What you'd say

So what now, then?
Forever.

And I would nod my head in agreement
And believe it when I said, "Forever."

But instead I ask the darkness
Or the ceiling, and answer myself
With insecurity over something
I do not doubt, torture.
Forever.

------
She falls softly down from towering pedastools...


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Comments

The following comments are for "Chaos Theory"
by shefallssoftly

turn down the ac

Aside from a few grammatical errors, you have some good stream of consciousness stuff going on here. I feel the disconnection, and the torment, however I cannot separate if you are cold because of the ac or for other reasons. Otherwise, it's cool (no pun intended).

macbeth

( Posted by: macbeth [Member] On: July 13, 2005 )

Gravity
I can feel the stress in this, the conflicting pressures. I'm reminded of how moons around gas giants have liquid cores even through they are far too far from the sun. Its the tidal force exerted by the giant; like bending a wire back and forth. The result: frosty cool exterior, roiling pressure inside.

Last thought; infinite only has one meaning but forever is open to interpretation. -Philo

( Posted by: Philo [Member] On: July 13, 2005 )





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