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Average Rating
9

(5 votes)


RatingRated by
6bhagwandave
10Charmr
10Dareva
9Myth
10Teflon

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Turning a shoulder
pretending it to be cold,
but I know better
and I can't make it so.

Isolated and torn
to timidly wait,
tears are flowing,
such a cruel fate.

Catching my breath
trying to go on,
wishing for the future
and hard times to be gone.



------
I read your poems
rich and sweet
then lay roses at
your feet.

Char


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Comments

The following comments are for "Wishing"
by Char

Deserves a 10 IMO
As most of your work does, brevity is your ultimate strong point.
In writing it is quite a difficult task to say so much with minimal words and to make sense.
Another excluse "Char" write, and you DO this so well....

Warmest regards,
Dar

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: June 28, 2005 )

Thanks Dar
I appreciate it so much. You always say such nice things. Thank you for taking time to read and comment. I appreciate it.

Always,
Char

( Posted by: Char [Member] On: June 29, 2005 )

So You
Char;
This is a great poem. He makes all things possible, even if you can't see them. Nice to read your writing, sometimes I can't get to your work right away, but eventually it will come a day when I can.



Blessings,
{{{Jeannie}}}

( Posted by: JEANNIE45 [Member] On: June 30, 2005 )

Glad you like my poem
Jeannie. Thank you for the nice comment. It's the good thing about posting poems in that we can all get around to them, eventually. Take care; nice to hear from you.

Always,
Char

( Posted by: Char [Member] On: June 30, 2005 )

on Wishing
Char,

I understand this one. I wrote a similar one recently, but not in so few words. I wish it was so easy for me, but that isn't me. My mind over-thinks. My emotions are turbulent. I can't be objective even in retrospect.

You've encapsulated so well the feelings I tried to express. Now I am jealous and I must kill you. Well, not really, of course. That would be all bad.

Lans

( Posted by: GibsonGirl [Member] On: June 30, 2005 )

wishes
Emotion is high is this. Rubbed raw it seems.

S1, L2 seems a bit long and cumbersome compared to the other lines. ‘pretending it to be’ doesn’t seem right somehow as a phrase.

How about ‘feigning that its cold’ or something similar?

I love how you ended with hope. -Philo

( Posted by: Philo [Member] On: June 30, 2005 )

Thanks So Much
LOL!!! What a nice comment Lans. You are killing me with kindness. Thank you for the terrific comment and praise.

Philo, you know you are right. I looked it over again and I think it would be better without the to be in there at all. Sometimes it just takes more than one set of eyes to perfect pieces, and this one has been aging for a while. Thanks for pointing it out. Glad you like it.

I appreciate the ratings too Teflon and bhagwandave. Thanks for reading and rating.

And finally, Happy Fourth of July to everyone!!



Always,
Char

( Posted by: Char [Member] On: July 1, 2005 )

So nice!
Wishing is so nice, I read it slow with wishes, then I remembered Tomorrow is Another Day.

( Posted by: Clark [Member] On: August 1, 2005 )

Yes!!
Tomorrow IS another day. Another day can make all the difference. Another chance, another dream. Thank you for your time and comment. I like your gentle style.

Always,
Char

( Posted by: Char [Member] On: August 1, 2005 )





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