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Pushed inside it can't hold on
let it go release the fear
hold it down, go back inside
keep it close, pray it's near

hold me down, i can't hold on
leave me here, I'LL die alone
break me down, with my selfishness
hold my heart within your kiss

tear me away from my solitude
exile me to loneliness
make up your mind to be alone
don't talk to me, I hate that tone

now you are yours
and i am mine
if my place you ever find,
cover my eyes, from the light that shines

If I did it...I didn't mean to.
If I hurt you...I didn't mean to.
If I left you...I didn't mean to.
If I scared you...I didn't mean to.
If I loved you...I didn't mean to.

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The following comments are for "Too Bright"
by Nicicole

I liked the personal narrative of the poem. I really started to find myself getting in touch with some emotions I've felt in similar situations. My only problem with the piece was your use of wordplay. It seemed as though you were fighting too hard to stay within a certain path, rhyme, or writing scheme instead of following the flow of the piece itself. I appreciate the piece, though. Poets that are as in touch with their emotions as you are teach me to be a better writer.

( Posted by: MKMINION [Member] On: July 14, 2002 )
I've never thought of myself that way before....helping someone become a better writer themselves. It was just a random peice of poetry...wrote on much of my work is.
Right now i'm going to go to sleep because at last the brats upstairs are asleep..and i'm TIRED

thanks for the comment
ni k

( Posted by: nicicole [Member] On: July 15, 2002 )

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