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Waited long enough
by Don mohr

The letter was short and to the
point-sharpened words that
left scars and opened some new
Tears ran down my face like they
were the only ones running in
this race-was there a race to
begin with? I missed this one-
You held me one last time and
I had a strange feeling that
accompanied a vision I didn't
like-Jesus too tired to carry the
cross any further-
Is it the way I flirted with you every
day? I didn't change my ways
and I thought you said "Me
neither"-I guess I faded faster
than the day-
Age became a discipline in your
search for fame-I stood beside
you right to the end-
These were last minute things that
raced through my mind, my love-
...then I decided to pull the plug.
The doctors and nurses came
rushing in-but too late-I waited
long enough, I missed you my
only Friend.
My letter was short and to the point.


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The following comments are for "Waited Long Enough"
by Wetice

Solid little piece of flash here. Curious about your format, though, not that it doesn't work (it does). Any longer and you'd probably have to expand it past the block paragraph, but as is, it works well condensed like that. I enjoyed the ending - made me think - and this piece had a universality to it. The downside to having a universality to it is that similar things have been done before. Still, you did inject a good deal of life into the piece, so it's not hampered by that TOO much.

Good read.


( Posted by: strangedaze [Member] On: June 18, 2005 )

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