Life is just not as simple as it used to be; no, it is so simplistic it is absurd. How you say?
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Here is an inventory of those simpler things as they apply to me, a simple man – that make life today, well, simpler:
First off; there is my Cell Phone¯with me at all times. It enables me to talk to anyone, anytime, anywhere; no more pay phones, cords, long distance, walkie-talkies, radio phone systems, UHF –VHF, etc., or those annoying carrier pigeons. Not to mention two heads are better than one; my wife is always in my pocket to give a reality check, second opinion, and she always answers…whatever the occasion.
And then there’s my John Deere tractor/mower; need I say more?
Next, is my home shredder; a piece of cake. No more tearing, ripping, or burning those things that are none of anyone’s business.
And who can forget the King-Size Bed? Well, it is great for ‘freaky circus sex.’ Did I mention room enough to actually get some sleep, considering the wife and three Chihuahuas are in it also?
Today’s Computer is one really simple simpler things I have at my fingertips. It enables me to do business all over the world, communicate, write poetry, articles, and the list goes on and on and on…
Satellite/Cable TV – now I don’t even know how many channels we have, so I will tell you how many I had as a kid; it was three, and we were lucky because we just happened to live close enough to the stations, back then, to get reception with our antennas. Yes, it took one for VHF and one for UHF stations.
Wow, this piece could easily turn into a book, so, I will just list the others. Bear in mind these things are the ones that only apply to me directly; a simple man, as opposed to things that might be available to a less simpler (wealthier) man:
VCR/DVD/CD Players, Walkie-Talkies - inexpensive and reliable, make excellent intercoms or indoor/outdoor communicators.
Weed Eaters - no more backaches.
Chainsaws - two sizes.
Generator and Power Inverter
Power Tools – too numerous to list. (Most battery operated)
Appliances – more sophisticated than ever.
Plastic Storage Boxes –inexpensive and come in any size or color you could want.
Guns – with laser sights and night vision. (I wish)
The Mini – Van – as opposed to the Maxi –Pad.
I am getting tired and bored with this, but you get the point.
So, the next time someone says to you: life is just not as simple as it was back then/when; tell them, no, it’s simpler (and show them this if you don’t feel up to ‘splainin’ it).
AKA: The Junkyard Poet