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Life is just not as simple as it used to be; no, it is so simplistic it is absurd. How you say?
Here is an inventory of those simpler things as they apply to me, a simple man – that make life today, well, simpler:

First off; there is my Cell Phone¯with me at all times. It enables me to talk to anyone, anytime, anywhere; no more pay phones, cords, long distance, walkie-talkies, radio phone systems, UHF –VHF, etc., or those annoying carrier pigeons. Not to mention two heads are better than one; my wife is always in my pocket to give a reality check, second opinion, and she always answers…whatever the occasion.

And then there’s my John Deere tractor/mower; need I say more?

Next, is my home shredder; a piece of cake. No more tearing, ripping, or burning those things that are none of anyone’s business.

And who can forget the King-Size Bed? Well, it is great for ‘freaky circus sex.’ Did I mention room enough to actually get some sleep, considering the wife and three Chihuahuas are in it also?

Today’s Computer is one really simple simpler things I have at my fingertips. It enables me to do business all over the world, communicate, write poetry, articles, and the list goes on and on and on…

Satellite/Cable TV – now I don’t even know how many channels we have, so I will tell you how many I had as a kid; it was three, and we were lucky because we just happened to live close enough to the stations, back then, to get reception with our antennas. Yes, it took one for VHF and one for UHF stations.

Wow, this piece could easily turn into a book, so, I will just list the others. Bear in mind these things are the ones that only apply to me directly; a simple man, as opposed to things that might be available to a less simpler (wealthier) man:

VCR/DVD/CD Players, Walkie-Talkies - inexpensive and reliable, make excellent intercoms or indoor/outdoor communicators.

Weed Eaters - no more backaches.

Chainsaws - two sizes.

Generator and Power Inverter

Power Tools – too numerous to list. (Most battery operated)

Appliances – more sophisticated than ever.
Plastic Storage Boxes –inexpensive and come in any size or color you could want.

Guns – with laser sights and night vision. (I wish)

The Mini – Van – as opposed to the Maxi –Pad.

I am getting tired and bored with this, but you get the point.

So, the next time someone says to you: life is just not as simple as it was back then/when; tell them, no, it’s simpler (and show them this if you don’t feel up to ‘splainin’ it).

AKA: The Junkyard Poet



The following comments are for "If Life Gets Any Simpler I Will Surely Go To Waste"
by Charmr

Simple Life
I stopped by your wife's post, and got food for thought, and then here, got a good laugh, and more food for thought... Just tonight my 13 year old and her friend asked me if I ever saw "Gone with the Wind". I explained to them how it used to go around to the movie theatres every year,(in the South) before DVD's, before video. I have given my kids a pretty good education in my 'reality' (including Zepplin, Clapton, SteppenWolf...) but I think Beta and 8 tracks are too much information...
Simple is nice. Your simple is fun, although I think you can appreciate the 'simple' of a good book and a shady spot of comfort.
Thanks for the tickle. Best thoughts-

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: June 18, 2005 )

Elizabeth & Bob
Thanks for the very nice comments. Elizabeth I like your new Avatar. Hearing from you two on the same piece is an added pleasure. It may not be Post Clair but, I'm getting used to things anyway with old friends like you guy's still around, things are really pretty good. Romay...

( Posted by: Charmr [Member] On: June 19, 2005 )

Charmr's simplicity,
Yet I live in an old fashioned kitchen I find batteries included and no electricity.

I own a blender, food processor but dont' use them. I DO use my stove and my Crock pot. All else is hand tools.

I laughed at some of the things you wrote Romay. AND yes you could go on and on and on and on....

I wouldn't ever get bored tho'..not me. Think of those good ol'days tho, rolling tobbacky, homebrew, chasing the chickens.........LOL...

I often think of you on your Green Beasty, waiting for you to write a poem of that would be interesting, "motoring around the yard, like my little beetle friends"

Great to see an opinion piece by you....really you should do this more ARE an interesting guy!!

love ya,
Dar ;)

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: June 19, 2005 )

The good ole days!
Loved this charmer...if you were a woman, you would have added:

Disposable diapers (a miracle!)
Automatic Washers (no wringers)
Automatic Dryers
No stick pots and pans
Paper did we get along without them!!)
Table ready chickens (no feathers to pluck!)
Tape recorders (to preserve children's first words etc)
Automatic Drive Autos (could never handle the stick shift!)
Modern make we don't look like made-up clowns anymore...well...hardly!
Microwave Ovens...dinner takes two minutes as apposed to all day! working women (& men) can drop off laundry before work.

The list goes on and on...but you know something?
in spite of all the extra WAS simpler then. You knew where your children were at all times, you never locked your door, your neighbor was lookinbg out for your chldren as well as you were, school was not a battleground where children were being shot to death or abused (except for a rap across the knuckles for hitting a wrong note on the piano!) and marriage vows were exactly that...a vow to be taken seriously.

The moral of this story is...I guesss...embrace the new...but revere the old!


( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: June 19, 2005 )

Enjoyed this piece. rcallaci's comment about "homespun" hit the nail on the head.

Personally, I could make-do with a nice manual typewriter (oh, blasphemy!). Also a cane pole instead of a graphite spinning rod. Also love my cast iron skillets.

I must say, though, if one has a large yard that old push mower just don't make it no more.

( Posted by: gomarsoap [Member] On: June 20, 2005 )

too much technology

I agree, cell phones are all what you said, but also tracking devices. I live in a concrete jungle, so I don't have a lawn (thank goodness). Up north it's not that easy to get a gun (although I can go down to Dixie and buy one at Walmart without a permit).

It's too much I say...I love your line "Mini Van as opposed to the maxi-pad. By the way they have tampons now with 3-4 levels of absorbency. What next?

I am a minimalist now, don't drive a car out of choice (reduces road rage I don't need a crow-bar anymore), f**** those gas prices I am not participaing in that bull (but I live in a city with mass-trans). I don't have cable, I won't write and end-up watching the male-bashing cannel "Lifetime", just simple TV with 3 channels to watch the BBC news.

Must I say more? I loved your opinion.


( Posted by: macbeth [Member] On: June 20, 2005 )

Nice One
One of the things I find so complicated in today's simpler times is how long it takes to select anything...say like: a box of bandaids; did you EVER SEE so many types? Geez. That among countless other things makes shopping a longer than necessary experience; although we Do have those little motorized shopping carts now...kinda like the 'ol John Deere. This is a very good write though Charmr. I know I am running behind in comments, but I thought I would say something about this one. Also, it gives me a prime opportunity to say (in a unique way, today - June 20th) Happy Birthday Honey!!!!!

Love You,

( Posted by: Charmr [Member] On: June 20, 2005 )

Well it is obvious I was in Charmr's account when I made the above we are even now as he commented once in my account a long time ago on someone's poem. Oh least I signed it Char. So here is my footnote Charmr. Great write none the less. Better double check to see I am in my account. LOL!!!


( Posted by: Char [Member] On: June 20, 2005 )

Um, kind of glad that my birthday poem didnt' make it on today, so your beautiful wife had first dibs on wishing you well here....

Nice one Char, for funny, just like you two!!!
AND I also see that one of your favorite writings of Char's made it in on your birthday too, that was nice!!!
(My Walk)

Well, off I am, out of the computor for the day,

luvya Romay,

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: June 20, 2005 )

Go Charmr
It's your birthday!

oh charmr dear
with wifey near
you write so sweetly
verses so neatly

enjoy your day, love
wishes are made of
the thoughts you capture
in times of rapture

i hope they find you
wishes should come true
for men of junkyards
(in fact disguised bards)

charmr you've aged but
what's one more peanut
in life's big bucket?
More fun, so have fun!



( Posted by: GibsonGirl [Member] On: June 20, 2005 )

It's Charmr's Birthday
And I couldn't make that last line be not obscene in a good way. I need soosering.

( Posted by: GibsonGirl [Member] On: June 20, 2005 )

Thanks Everyone
Gotta run
thanks for the fun
and Lans,
I've got so many
peanuts now
all I can say is

Fuck it!!! LOL!!!...the rest of the rhyme, I mean. LOL!!! I ain't got the time to do no better. :) Later, my friends. Gotta go eat!!!


( Posted by: Charmr [Member] On: June 20, 2005 )

Happy B-Day Charmr!

You are one year wiser!


( Posted by: macbeth [Member] On: June 20, 2005 )

Thanks Macbeth
I hope so. Racked up some wisdom or years, or both. :)


( Posted by: Charmr [Member] On: June 20, 2005 )

B'Day Man...
glad you can see, I mean, I don't know what I mean...

Charmr, a good day to be...just you...I have loved your writes, you have a way of expression that is uninhibited, forward and yet, revolting,

wishing you many more good day's...


( Posted by: Robinbird [Member] On: June 20, 2005 )

Ms Robin
Well Thank You Robin I enjoy your comments very much, also your poetry. I would never want to be revolting.

( Posted by: Charmr [Member] On: June 20, 2005 )

Charmr & summer...
you know, revolting popped in my head following a lame effort I read prior, yes sir, revolting

happy 1st day of summer!


( Posted by: Robinbird [Member] On: June 21, 2005 )

Now I am brain dead
Charmr, first let me wish you a belated "Happy Birthday"!!! I think all this technology is making me somewhat stupid. Let me explain. I have to carry a cell 24/7 because of my job. I locked my phone in the car today (automatic locks on that sucker) and my phone with it. I walked across the parking lot to use a phone and didn't know any of the numbers I needed to call! When I was younger I had every number memorized, now without my speed dial I can't even dial my mom!!!! Seriously, my kids refuse to learn how to write neatly, they say "who needs to write mom???? Computers are today, pens and pencils are so yesterday." Argggghhhh... Great write.

Nae ;0)

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: June 21, 2005 )

Nae's Lock-Out
You should have E-Mailed Char or me, we are Locksmiths. Thanks, as always, for the comment. Charmr

( Posted by: Charmr [Member] On: June 21, 2005 )

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