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Heart's still beating
pounding chest
Why'd she leave me?


------
"I must create my own system, or be enslaved by another man's"-William Blake



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The following comments are for "Free style, American Haiku"
by malthis

beautiful, touching, meaningful, but...what?!
The words are great, the meaning is there, the emotion is heartwrenching, they express a lot with very little, but...this is not a haiku...a haiku is 5-7-5. This is 4-3-4...is there something someone didn't tell me? Otherwise, it's great.

( Posted by: the Co.konspirator [Member] On: July 12, 2002 )

Modern Haiku
Reardless of what our teachers taught us, modern non-Japanese Haiku is often not held to 17 syllables of 5-7-5. From what I've studied about it, English takes less syllables to convey a meaning, therefore the optimal number would be around 11 syllables. Mine is 12. Either way, this is called Free Style, somewhat like Free Verse poetry. The idea is still simplicity, brevity, and allowing the mind to connect what was not written. I also called it American cause I think modern Haiku is not about Nature as it is about the human condition and more western values. So it's a switch.

( Posted by: malthis [Member] On: July 12, 2002 )

haiku
i couldn't agree with your ideas about american haiku more.
you have managed to convey an amazing amount of emotion in merely 11 syllables. well done.

( Posted by: thecheef [Member] On: July 13, 2002 )

haiku
Pining for a lost woman....how sad to feel so abandoned. It certainly is about the human condition.

( Posted by: ceyran gelior [Member] On: January 8, 2003 )





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