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“Bit early for it isn’t it?”

“For what?”



“Because you shouldn’t start drinking this early in the morning.”

“Who says I started drinking this morning?”

“I can see you sitting there with a bottle of expensive Merlot in one hand and a bottle of meths in the other.”

“No I’m not.”

“Half bottles then.”


“Half drunken bottles.”

“It doesn’t mean I’ve started drinking them though does it?”

“Irregardless of when you started, you still shouldn’t be drinking at this time.”

“Irregardless? There’s no such word.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to me that you talk sense.”

“You’re still drinking them.”

“Why am I still drinking them?”

“Because they’re open.”

“Answer my question.”

“I just did.”

“Can you think of no other rationale why I’m out here nursing these two bottles?”



“Why are you out here holding those two bottles in your hands?”

“Who said I’m holding them?”

“Who cares who said you were holding them?”

“I care, it’s an accusation isn’t it?”

“I’m accusing you.”

“Of what?”

“Of holding them.”

“I’m not holding them.”

“Of nursing them.”

“It doesn’t mean that I’m drinking from them though does it?”

“I’ve seen you drinking from them, you’ve had five sips since I came in.”

“Allegedly had.”

“What do you mean allegedly had?”

“Allegedly as in accusing me of something without proof.”

“You just took a sip before, you’re sipping one now.”

“No I’m not.”

“Yes you are!”

“Allegedly sipping.”

“But I can see you.”

“You can see bottles being lifted to my mouth.”

“So you’re saying, you’re sitting here holding two bottles of hard spirits and not sipping from them but merely lifting them to your mouth?”

“I never said that.”




“Whatever you said.”

“Answer me!”

“I’m not drinking at present.”

“What about before?”

“What about before?”

“Before, were you sitting out here nursing those bottles?”


“Sipping them?”


“Sipping the liquid from the bottles?”


“So you admit to drinking them?”

“I admit to drinking from these bottles before obviously, why are they empty?”

“But you’re drinking from them now.”

“No I’m not.”

“Yes you are!”

“No I’m not, they’re empty!’

“You’re wasting my time.”

“You’re wasting my time. Before you came in I was having some very serious thinking time.”

“Well go back to it because I’m leaving, I’m not going to stand here arguing with a drunk.”

“Yeah, well I’d have to be drunk, to be arguing with you.”

I may be stupid but at least I'm not handsome.

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The following comments are for "Dialogue"
by Emlyn

Thoroughly enjoyed this quirky interchange! The only thing I'd do is fine comb this for comma placement - sometimes your use of commas ruin the flow of the conversation.

ie - last sentence:

“Yeah, well I’d have to be drunk, to be arguing with you.”


"Yeah, well, I'd have to be drunk to be arguing with you."

Yeah *pause* well *pause* I'd have to be drunk to be arguing with you."

A comma would indicate a pause after drunk - breaks the flow - and I think it's grammatically incorrect, though the resident grammer nazis should correct me if I'm mistaken.

Great piece, overall!


( Posted by: strangedaze [Member] On: June 9, 2005 )

"Living in the world of the comma people."
Yes Andrew, you're quite right, it does flow better.

I was trying to 'multitask' as I was writing this piece and as a result, was quite, out, of, breath.

Thanks for the advice.

The Eminator

( Posted by: Emlyn [Member] On: June 10, 2005 )

talking with drunks

I really dig this flow of this conversation, you really show us an ugly side of what is most common; a drunk . On a personal note; I've had many of these dialogues with drunks, and it is one the most tedious and aggravating experiences in the world.

nice read,


( Posted by: macbeth [Member] On: June 12, 2005 )

fun fun fun...

...'til my bottle of T-bird goes away.

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: June 12, 2005 )

Drunken dialogue
Thanks to you both for your comments.

macbeth. It is irritating arguing with someone who's been drinking, just ask my girlfriend.

soos. You've made me cry with your upsetting story.

( Posted by: Emlyn [Member] On: June 14, 2005 )

Spank me very much
Thank you for the kind words Feline, they made my day.

I love getting positive comments and this ones going straight on my fridge door next to the crayon pictures of my stick figure family and sun wearing sunglasses.

Thanks again

( Posted by: Emlyn [Member] On: June 15, 2005 )

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