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While napping midday as I sometimes do, a spirited dream made a diminutive visit. I was driving down a blacktop road, in the midst of the desert. The bright sun lingered overhead, and the scenery was still. After the sparse trees that ruled the edge of the road, all that could be seen was textured sand. Far off into the distance- an adobe brick house painted white. Many peasant girls with flamboyantly colored dresses were gathered about. One in yellow was working a water pump. Another in crimson balanced a clay urn on top of her head. Faces I could not see but color was vivid.

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The following comments are for "Adobe in the Distance"
by greatsmile

Does this have more depth than meets the eye? Hard to say. Is this social commentary of some kind? Well written, so surpise, but lacking edge.


( Posted by: strangedaze [Member] On: June 4, 2005 )

And by so surprise, I meant no surprise. Surprised? Not really.

( Posted by: strangedaze [Member] On: June 4, 2005 )

Surprise? no.
It was a dream I had, and I did see meaning in it. Not sure if others would.I wrote it a few months back, during a time of change and troubles.

( Posted by: greatsmile [Member] On: June 4, 2005 )

Desert Dream Girls
Images are strong, but as flash, it lacks plot. Maybe what Andy was alluding to by lack of surprise.

Its like a painting made of words. Maybe you could spin this into a poem. Its nice.

"Adobe brick" is redundant. -Philo

( Posted by: Philo [Member] On: June 4, 2005 )

Philo's suggestion
I see what you both mean now. It's not really a story, but a descriptive passage.

I'll think about spinning it into a poem, thanks Philo.

( Posted by: greatsmile [Member] On: June 4, 2005 )

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