Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

“Common Travis the buss is here!”
Travis walks up to the doorframe and tries to buckle his belt quicker.
“Hey you’re the one who couldn’t keep his hands off me.”
Travis smiled and grabbed his books and shirt. They ran to the buss and sat in the back together.
“So I cant keep my hands off you. You can’t stop loving it.”
Travis grinned and slid on his T-shirt.
“Who said I ever wanted to stop? Your too much of a hoty to stop Leny.”
Travis kissed Leny’s lips and laid his head on Leny’s shoulder and closed his eyes. Leny slid his hand over Travis’s thigh teasingly. Travis moaned softly and smiled.
“You’re making me hard on the buss Leny. Your such a pain.”
Whispered Travis. Leny laughed softly and brushed his fingertips over Travis’s small bulge. Travis smiled and moaned softly again. Just then the buss crashed into another car and tipped to one side, pulling and pushing everyone on the buss to that side. Travis and Leny hit the other side of the buss hard, Travis hitting the window hard with the side of his head shattering the glass. Leny, not badly injured, shook his head and looked at Travis in horror.
“Travis? Travis! TRAVIS!”
Leny touched Travis’s face and tried to pull him up. Travis was knocked out by the blow, Leny knew, but he didn’t feel it. He felt that Travis was dead.
“Help! Somebody! Help him please!”
Leny yelled. Some people were yelling and in panic. Ambulance after ambulance came and helped the injured passengers of the buss. No one was badly injured except for Travis. Travis was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance car, without Leny there with him. Sins Leny was not a member of the immediate family he was told to stay there. Another buss came to pick up the uninjured passengers and take them back to their homes for the day. Leny was in tears the whole way home. Leny walked through the door and came to face with his father.
“Leny, Leny what happened? Why are you home so early? Where’s Travis? What happened Leny?”
Leny told his father what had happened and they both got into the car and drove to the hospital. Travis’s parents were already there waiting for Travis. The doctor told them that Travis was in a light comma from the impact on his brain but he was going to be all right when he woke up.
“Can I see him?”
Leny asked. The doctor smiled and nodded. Leny walked into Travis’s hospital room and stood at the foot of the bed.
“I’m sorry Travis. It should have been me.”

The End of book one


Related Items


The following comments are for "the buss ride book one"
by ftmthasme

Is the mispelling intended, or am I a tool? Don't answer that. First thing that I noticed: sentence structure. Travis this. Leny that. You begin almost all of your sentences with their names, following the same He did this, she is that, format. Switch it up, holmes, and we'll have a party.

Nice dialogue.


( Posted by: strangedaze [Member] On: June 1, 2005 )

a tool? lol
thanks for the feed back. i'll try and work on that.

( Posted by: ftmthasme [Member] On: June 13, 2005 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.