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If I smile will you understand why?
If I spoke to you from behind my hand would you understand why I don’t want you to see my words?
Do you listen to me and think about the rain in your hair, or the deep dripping silence that pouts as we speak,
Drawing you closer to it and further from me.
Will you be watching me when I say that I need you, that I can’t be without the swift way of your words, the chirp of you heart as I plead with you to hold me closer.
Will you wish me good luck, or leave me to drown, hoping that the sea will take me down, pull at my skin until my bones cave in and give me back to the great nothingness that life is.
Do you grin insanely at the jokes I tell to keep yourself part sane? To keep you from asking the questions that’ll cause pain.
Do you wish that you could just stay out in the rain?
Hold yourself there and pause for a second, smell the air and breathe in the moment.
Hold it in your lungs and close your eyes, then burst them open on a different sky,
With blues and whites and a painful blob, that burns you inside as you think of it all.
Then think again, as the sun starts to set and the light becomes vague and misrepresented.
When the shadows streak naked across the abyss, calling for someone to share that last kiss.
Here is where I am, deep in this moment, where the warm air touches the insides of your nose, propelling you backwards to a distant pose.
I’ll be there where the bird song buzzes in the trees, where the faint smell of pollen hangs with the bees.
The heat does not over power, nor does it chill.
It just sits in the air watching, listening, just for the thrill.
Nothing is placed in this moment where I wait, nothing is certain, there’s no flavourless fate.
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Remember my friend, despite all you are, all we are, the universe will tick on, long past our departure.
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On the riverbank
