Phantom like waters...
by ladyngold (Member) - published: May 30, 2005
Word Count: 10 Word Bytes: 83 Viewed: 477 times
Category - Haiku
© Copyright by ladyngold

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Phantom like waters
move eerily over rocks
whispering secrets

------
`always write poetry, Cheryl

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Comments

The following comments are for "Phantom like waters..."
by ladyngold

ladyngold's flowing spirits
Cheryl- Nicely done.

Good read.
Robert William

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: May 31, 2005 )

Ghostly Water
Cheryl loved the feel of this one, but found 'watched' to be a uneccessary word.

I would have possibly said 'phantom like waters'

But a very good image was painted with this one...thanks,

Have fun,

Ivor

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: June 3, 2005 )

Always Right Poetry
Yip, I agree with everything Ivor said. Cheryl, this is quite a stunning piece of imagery for me, I really like the quiet forboding of the words.

I also think Ivor's suggestion is a good one, 'Phantom' in my opinion seems to flow better.

Emlyn

( Posted by: Emlyn [Member] On: June 3, 2005 )

Okay you right again Ivor
Thanks again for perfect suggestion to refine this poem. 'phantom like waters' is much better. `always write poetry, Cheryl.

( Posted by: ladyngold [Member] On: June 3, 2005 )

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