Nothing Really Bothers Her
by Spider (Member) - published: May 22, 2005
Word Count: 63 Word Bytes: 387 Viewed: 1137 times
Category - Flash Fiction
© Copyright by Spider

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He looked over at the face on the pillow next to his. Her eyebrows were slanted, there was moisture gathering in her tear ducts, lines were forming in places that were usually smooth. She was frowning.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
She paused and thought for a moment about her life and the world. She was not happy.
“Nothing,” she said.

The End.

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Comments

The following comments are for "Nothing Really Bothers Her"
by Spider

Almost
I almost want to say that this works because of its brevity, but I fear that the content is far too scant to find much depth in this.

Cheers,

Andrew

( Posted by: strangedaze [Member] On: May 23, 2005 )

To the point
This works as is. Her nothing is loaded. Too much for her to share.

( Posted by: greatsmile [Member] On: May 28, 2005 )

spider: "Nothing"
spider- The second "sentence," as penned, contains 3. Periods replacing 2 commas would fix that. Or you could do something like: "Her eyebrows were slanted. Moisture gathered in her tear ducts, as lines formed in places usually smooth."

I agree with Andy. It may be a start to something, but as posted, it has little "depth."

Then what happens? "Something" must.

Robert William

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: May 28, 2005 )

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