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with a flick of the wrist
and the blink of an eye
in less than an instant
i went flying through the sky

with the grace of a sphinx
and the speed of a fly
with the mind of a lynx
i will be your demise

my wings spread lik a dragons
i descend form the sky
in less than an instant
you're caught by surprise

but now, at last, i ask you
"waht the heck am i?"
"am i a dragon?"
"or am i a mind?"

------
please read my stuff and rate or comment on it


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The following comments are for "What am I"
by MortalAngel

riddle
Hi MortalAngel.

I like this riddle though I cannot solve it. Watch your typos though.

( Posted by: maimai [Member] On: May 12, 2005 )

re
sorry was in a hurry to type it i had a minute left to finish it

( Posted by: MortalAngel [Member] On: May 12, 2005 )

sorry
if you are reading this i know there are typos again i am sorry

( Posted by: MortalAngel [Member] On: May 12, 2005 )

no apologies necessary
we all make typos, really. ;)
just remember not to send your poems with typos when sending to publishers... unless the typos were meant to be there

( Posted by: maimai [Member] On: May 13, 2005 )

mortalangel
if it wasn't that you screwed up on your spelling this would be a pretty cool poem man! still cool I guess.

( Posted by: ZonerZone [Member] On: May 20, 2005 )

What am I?
Curious poem MortalAngel, I like dragons and I like the ambiguities I take from this.

"I went flying through the sky"
I would omit 'flying' to give better rhythm.

"my wings spread like a dragons"
I would change to: my wings spread like dragons' OR my wings spread like fire.
I think there is one too many syllables in this line and if it is indeed a dragon (I'm probably misunderstanding it) you would use a simile comparing it with another dragon.

But now at last I ask you
"What the hell am I?"
"Am I a dragon?"
"Or am I your mind?"
I've changed heck to hell because it's a stronger word and keeps with the image of fire and dragons and I changed 'a mind' to 'your mind' personalising it to the reader.

Anyway, by all means delete these suggestions and put them down to the ramblings of an idiot.

Nice write.

Emlyn



( Posted by: Emlyn [Member] On: May 20, 2005 )

re
its not a dragon its supposed to be a mind it represents imagination

( Posted by: MortalAngel [Member] On: May 24, 2005 )





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