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Itís a ďGuy ThingĒ
My Husband and I have been married for almost 40 years. During that time we have had more than one discussion about how long he should wear his clothing before it needs to be replaced. Especially the underwear. While visiting with a male pastor friend one day I shared that bit of information. I had hoped he could give me some insight into this ridicules issue and help me figure a way through, over or around these troublesome discussions.

ďItís a guy thingĒ he responded. We smiled and let it drop.

From day one of our marriage it was necessary to account for every penny spent. I accounted for postage stamps and parking meters besides what was purchased on shopping trips. It was sometimes wearisome. (Thatís a nice way of saying it was sometimes a pain you know where) I found it particularly difficult when buying gifts. I had to wait until the very last minute to make the purchase. Otherwise the bill would have to be explained before the gift was presented. I thought that was unfair. He is an excellent provider and if he had ever needed to choose a second career I think he would have been an accountant. He loves working with the figures and keeping the tax records and so forth. He enjoys being able to tell you what we spent for a loaf of bread in 1968, and how much difference in cost there was between child number one and child number 3. Since heís better at math and records than I am and - I hate doing it when I must, thereís never been any dispute over who will keep the books and who pays the bills.

Since we are now retired, it is unusual for me to be shopping alone ... even Christmas shopping. But it happened this year. And as I happened passed the menís underwear department in my favorite store, I had the most wonderful brainstorm! I would buy a package of the offending articles and secret them somewhere in my laundry room. Then, when it became necessary to replace an item, there would be no explaining or arguing to do. I would just wash the new one in the old ones place, and put them away as usual. When the question came for an explanation of the slip from the store I explained that I had bought myself a new t-shirt and kept walking inviting no further discussion of the matter. I was feeling a little ambiguous about what I had done but felt that I had to try something. I would just have to wait and see if my deception was discovered or not. And if it solved the problem without causing another.

About a month or so after my little deception ... Christmas is now over ... everyone has had a little time to breath, I opened my Bible for morning devotions and discovered Deuteronomy 29:5 which states:

During the forty years that I led you though the desert,
Your clothes did not wear out nor did the sandals on your feet.
You ate no bread and drank no wine or other fermented drink.
I did this so that you might know that I am the Lord your God.

Now Iím not one to try to explain away the miracles of the bible. More often than not, Iíll look for present day ones to back them up. And I learned years ago that Our Lord has the most wonderful sense of humor. But this particular morning my thought was ďOh, they must have taken a lot of stuff with them. I went back and found Exodus 12:35. It states:

The Israelites did as Moses instructed and asked the Egyptians for articles of silver and gold and for clothing.
The Lord had made the Egyptians favorably disposed toward the people,
And they gave them what they asked for;
So they plundered the Egyptians.

I laughed so hard my husband came to see if I was all right. And I could not share with him the image in my head of all those Israelite women carrying Egyptian underwear into the desert. If I continue in my little deception do you suppose he will someday be of the opinion that his underwear never wears out?

Have a wonderful day! And may our precious Lord bless you with just exactly what you need for today.

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The following comments are for "It's a guy thing"
by Gramma

Gramma ! Holey Undies!!!
I am glad I read this, the title drew me in, with the thought..."oh, please don't let this be about toilet seats, sweaty socks, belches and farts".

Well, old undies. Funny. I have been married for over 27 years and he just threw out his old brown pin-suit (Wide lapels) he wore when we were married. Along with the old tattered "Gone Fishing" t-shirt. I could see through that...
BUT dare he ever want to throw out anything of mine!!!!
Well life goes on. I really think men have a thing for lace, it is cool, comfortable and I feel sexy in it. So, maybe that is the underlying problem with the holes, they like lots of them...
I enjoyed this. Thanks,
Darlene :)

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: May 2, 2005 )

Dar -- undies
For dar's benefit, I will confirm that men, indeed, like lace. Very comfy against the skin, and unlike traditional "male" underwear, lace panties let you breathe.

Good rant, gramma!

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: May 2, 2005 )

Loved IT!
I am 27 and have only been married nine years, but I too save reciepts to show where his money has gone. I account for most of what I spend.....I get creative with certain necessity, like you. I haven't the knowledge of God's word like you, but I got a good laugh and a push towards the book. I truly enjoyed your writing here as well as your subject matter!


( Posted by: Eleanor [Member] On: May 2, 2005 )

Lace, it's a guy thing
Where's my beer can hat?
Where're my purposefully ripped jeans?
And most importantly, where are my old faithful red underpants, the ones I don't wash because it's bad luck when my team plays.

Enjoyable write Grannie and I admire you courage in swapping your husbands clothes. However don't forget that old addage, never judge a man by his shoes unless you've walked in them yourself. I think the meaning can transcend just shoes.

Yes like Viper, I like lace underwear too, it's the corsets which are uncomfortable.

( Posted by: Emlyn [Member] On: May 4, 2005 )

Where's The Rant?
I enjoyed reading this personal experience piece about old underwear. One big doubt, though, you put this in the "Rants" category, yet this story doesn't sound like a rant at all, unless you were complaining about having to sneak material things past your husband. I think this would have been more believable had it been categorized as an "Opinions" thing. Usually, when I think of "Rants", I think of (and you'll have to excuse the blunt language here) people bitching and complaining throughout the whole story. Here, it seems like you were reminiscing (sp?) about past events and giving your opinions without being angry about it. If you want to rant, put some more fire and heat, so to speak, into your missives, and let the anger out in telling why a certain experience makes you irate. Otherwise, people will question the ranting part, and dismiss it as an opinion piece. Frankly, I'm surprised the other comments didn't point this out.


( Posted by: davewriter [Member] On: May 7, 2005 )

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